04.30.09 9 years ago 4 Comments

MMA Junkie has the poop on DREAM.9, the latest event from the Japan-based mixed martial arts outfit DREAM, which probably stands for something to do with molesting people on a subway. Anyway, the card for DREAM.9 on May 26th will be highlighted by an eight-man Super Hulk tournament, and among the participants is–I kid you not–is one Jose Canseco.

The open-weight tournament, roughly translated as the “World Superman Championship,” will continue later this summer with a semifinal round and a grand finale.

Canseco, meanwhile, makes his MMA debut after an MLB career that concluded with a tell-all book about steroid use in baseball (and a subsequent cold shoulder from the industry). Canseco, who claims to be a decorated martial artist, has been competing in exhibition boxing matches as of late. Former NFL player Vai Sikahema recently defeated Canseco via knockout, and former child actor Danny Bonaduce recently fought him to a majority draw.

Jose’s first round bout will be against Hong Man Choi. That means nothing to me. I just enjoy saying Hong Man Choi. Expect Canseco to attempt a liberation coup of Cuba in 2011 and then maybe a cookbook the year after that. Mark Maguire, conversely, will spend this weekend planting tomato bulbs and complaining under his breath about the wait in the drive-thru at McDonalds. I’m glad I never played baseball.

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