Everything in life is a balance between trial and error and routine. You get comfortable with a schedule, or with doing things a certain way, and it’s easy to get stuck in that. There’s nothing wrong with it, mind you, but coaches love to say if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.
Even though that sounds like something the late, great Yogi Berra would say, there’s something to it. If you’re not taking chances, someone else is. If you’re mired in rote, you atrophy. We’ve all been there even if we don’t want to admit to it.
This is all a long-winded way of saying I’m already shaking up the weekly coverage at Uproxx Sports. Those of you who have been paying attention have noticed there’s a weekly coverage plan, and Thursdays are kind of a wildcard, mostly because by Thursday I’m like a panting dog lying on cold tile after a five-mile run. But I’m adding something to it because I’ve always wanted to do this. Writers I really enjoy do it, and I’ve never done it, and since this is my party, I can do what I want.
Basically it’s the same as any other mailbag or tweetbag or telegrambag or message-in-a-bottle-bag. You ask me questions, I answer them. Hopefully by the end of the year, you all will be giving me some really tough things to consider, about life, about football, about everything. And I’ll always be honest. That’s my promise to you.
Let’s get started.
@rkalland: is BERT the best villain in college football right now?
See this is a very good question. And if you don’t know what my venerable podcast cohost is asking about, let’s get a refresher. Bret Bielema has established himself as one heck of a heel this year, and we’re not even in October. First he blasted Ohio State’s schedule, then lost to Toledo. Then he took another shot at Ohio State in reference to an early season loss, after he lost. Then Texas Tech’s Kliff Kingsbury got into it after beating Arkansas, saying Bielema was going around saying he’d kick Texas high school teams’ asses if they ran the spread. Then Bielema brought up last season’s win over Texas Tech as his rebuttal.
This is truly God-level trolling, and it’s masterful, but it’s not villainous because the only person Bielema is fighting against right now is himself. He’s not doing anyone any harm, and it’s not as if folks are lined up out the door rooting for him to get sent to that island from Arrow where they keep all the bad guys. This is not even close to the scorn people have for even Lane Kiffin, who still isn’t a head coach.
As much as I want to say we have to go Nick Saban, I think more people have genuine disdain for George O’Leary. People are flat-out giddy over the fact UCF is one of the worst teams in football over the first three weeks of the season. That’s not a coincidence. And it’s not as if O’Leary’s given us a lot to like over the years. I did write this after witnessing the team’s Fiesta Bowl win over Baylor a couple years ago:
The death of Ereck Plancher — to which a former player testified O’Leary was“yelling obscenities” at Plancher after he collapsed during practice on March 18, 2008 — immediately comes to mind. O’Leary’s comments that players today are soft and “it comes from too much parental babying” don’t sit quite right. That UCF had to win an appeal on a potential postseason ban after it was revealed former athletic director Keith Tribble and wide receivers coach David Kelly committed recruiting violations shouldn’t be forgotten. The bad and the ugly can’t be ignored when the good comes along. This isn’t the world of Machiavelli where the ends automatically justify the means.
So yeah, I’m going with O’Leary, but I desperately hope BERT never changes.
@dennymayo: what kind of pizza should I make this weekend?
A couple weeks ago I was over at my friend Michael Felder’s house. If you know anything about Felder, you know he’s one of the most unique college football experts out there, he’s supremely honest and will always tell you how he feels without pretense, and he is a hell of a cook. Felder was making pizzas, and he went with three different options (although he experiments often). One was a goat cheese and chicken pizza that had some red onion and was flavorful as all getup, but the other was one I’m a huge fan of, and I’ve been craving since. Just a simple pepperoni and fresh basil with fresh mozzarella. So, Denny, please make that, and send a couple pieces on a drone to me.
I’m pretty much of the mindset every pizza topping is good, so I’m not at liberty to rank them, but I do tend to think jalapeno and pineapple and caramelized onions are all a bit underrated. Although I’m happy to hear your favorite pizza toppings or combinations in the comments. This could make for a fun discussion.
@m_toney: what were some plays you really enjoyed from last week?
I mean, I feel like this is just a softball to mention the Ole Miss touchdown because it was one of the best plays I’ve ever seen in a football game. What makes college football so wonderful is the possibility for error at any given time, and error leading to greatness. It’s super unpredictable because the players are big, and strong, and good, but not that coordinated yet. They’re puppies, and they’re equally as likely to catch a ball in their mouths and roll over as they are to run out into traffic or eat AA batteries. I love them.
I like most plays. South Pacific is one of my favorites.
@morgan_moriarty: is Leonard Fournette really human or is he secretly a bulldozer disguised as an LSU running back?
I’m pretty sure he is not a bulldozer because bulldozers cannot think or feel or reason unless they are in a cartoon universe, and since we’re not operating in Bob The Builder, or Cars, or Thomas The Tank Engine lands (to my knowledge), that would make Leonard Fournette a human, albeit a really, really talented human who can do things lots of other humans cannot do. That said, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did, in fact, run on diesel.
@suckmyvols: do you like sports if yes which ones?
I like all sports, and this includes e-sports, and darts, and pool, and bowling, and really anything that you can enjoy doing with friends or as part of a team or in some sort of competition. But I’ve found myself not needing to watch sports nearly as much as I used to. Up until I was about 25, I’d have sports on pretty much nonstop. If there was a soccer match at 3 a.m., I was on it. Those Hawaii football games at midnight after a marathon Saturday were some of my favorite times.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, my priorities have shifted, my interests have grown, I’m just getting tired, I’m exhausted because this is my job and not just a hobby, or I just don’t love sports as much due to all the scandals and the disillusionment I feel over everything, but I don’t need that anymore. I like going for walks, playing with my dog, spending time with friends, cooking, listening to music, and reading, as well as lots of other things, and because I have so little time and energy to do these things because my job literally is “lol look at this vine of jj watt doing this thing we need to write 200 words about it right now” sometimes, I just don’t need sports as much as I used to.
That being said, college football transcends that if only because there are still real emotional things happening, whether it’s live mascots doing silly things, or drunk college kids acting like drunk college kids, or coaches losing their minds. And it still has a way of pulling me in, no matter how deeply flawed it really is, even when I promise myself I won’t anymore.
