Conan Talked To Sochi’s PR Rep, Found Out Stray Dogs Are Security Guards In Disguise

So far we’ve only really written about the embarrassing side of the Sochi Olympics, the one with all the weird toilets and mass dog genocide and pink eye epidemics. The good news is that things are actually going great, and Conan talked to Sochi public relations director Yuri Tamarov to confirm.

You’ll learn a lot about how Sochi works from listening to this, such as the old Russian proverb, “water brown? Don’t fall down. Water clear, death is near.” Oh, and that old landline phones can send dick pics. Who knew? But be warned, the clip contains a chilling message about the dangers of unlimited texting to dogs and bears.

Check it out: