David Stern Took A Break From Being The Devil To Do A Top 10 List For Letterman

David Stern’s megalomaniacal 30-year reign as NBA Commissioner ends on February 1, so he’s on a cheeky media tour in the interest of not being remembered exclusively for the boos and looking like Emperor Palpatine.

Supreme NBA Leader stopped by Late Show With David Letterman to read the Top 10 “Things I’ve Learned In My 30 Years As Commissioner Of The NBA,” and it’s what you’d expect. There are some honest moments — “when international diplomacy is required, call Dennis Rodman” — and a few dishonest ones, like “I hear sneaker squeaks in my sleep” being number one instead of “it’s fun to manipulate drafts and step in to ruin everybody’s trades.”

Check it out: