Dwight Howard Convinced To Stay In Orlando By This Heavily Edited Fan Video

I don’t know if Ray William Johnson invented that YouTube “edit 3 times in the same sentence so I jump around the screen” thing, but I’m blaming it for him anyway. This video would’ve benefitted from a little “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”. [via Sportress]

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What Was In LeBron’s Tiny Purse? – I hope it was a spy kit. I hate LeBron as much as the next guy, but I need to let somebody else write about “Pursegate”. [Smoking Section]

5 Movies Us Nerds Painfully Underrate – “Us nerds” reminds me of when Zack Morris said “us kids” don’t want oil drilling at bayside. Anyway, I really must be a nerd, because I think all 5 of these blow. [Gamma Squad]

A Comprehensive Guide To Amber Tamblyn’s Next Level Email Prank On Tyrese Gibson – She showed him a bunch of screenplays, then said ‘Joan of Arcadia’ was a thing that got produced and put on TV for two seasons. [UPROXX]

The Smiths + Nintendo’s ‘Super Mario Brothers’ = ‘Super Morrissey Bros.’ – Adding Morrissey to anything makes it better. You could add Morrissey to an Enzyte commercial and it’d instantly be the greatest thing on television. [UPROXX]

LEGO May Have Spoiled The Villains In The Avengers – This isn’t really a spoiler, but if Namor OR Fin Fang Foom show up in this movie I’m going to lose my mind. I’m not too old to mark out for Fin Fang Foom. [Film Drunk]

Megan Fox Isn’t Allowed to Watch ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ – Now she’ll never know whether or not Donna Martin Graduates. Pretty cool idea to marry someone who won’t “allow” you to do things, Megan! [Warming Glow]

Women Flirting With Urkel Over Twitter – Don’t get excited, it’s just Myra with multiple accounts. [Buzzfeed]

Classic Movies Subtitled For Bros – I want a version of The Fountain where it spends 5 minutes with “Finish it, bro” at the bottom. [HuffPost Comedy]

‘The Artist’ Star Uggie the Dog is the New Nintendo Spokesdog – Better than Reggie. Nintendo should make a dog you can control by waving at it. [The FW]

The Greatest Fictional TV Couple That Will Never Ever Exist | The 2011 Fun Oscars – If this isn’t a link to the fictional hookup of Annie Edison and Trudy Campbell, I’m not interested. [Pajiba]

Three Kinds of Movie/TV Characters Who Actually Need Smartphones – To the credit of the people on Breaking Bad, they live in New Mexico. Going to West Texas is what they consider a “promotion”. Of course they don’t have real phones. [Unreality]

Someone Racked Up a Hefty $323,000 Bar Tab at a Liverpool Nightclub – 42 Pussy @ 3.00. Sounds like the waitstaff at my old Olive Garden. [Brobible]