Finally, A Sport For Crotch Rockets

08.25.10 8 years ago 4 Comments

Douchedog says, "Sweet bike, brah."

As most of England and Ireland will be celebrating Bank Holiday this weekend (Ed. – No clue) a group of British daredevils will be introducing the world to a brand new sport – stuntbike football. Now before you ask how the riders will be able to stay on their bikes while wearing pads, remember that our friends across the Atlantic Ocean use football as a term for soccer. Haha, cultural differences!

Anywho, the sport’s pretty simple, in that riders use their legs to kick one of those giant Swiss balls around a paved court, ultimately trying to score by putting the ball into a soccer goal. This is clearly the sport of kings for anyone who has ever bought a motorcycle and thought, “How can I combine my love of taking sharp turns at sporadic speeds with my desire to use only one leg while driving?”

Don’t forget to sign your disavowal of blame waivers, BBC (with doucherrific video):

A somewhat unusual football team is getting ready for its first full international game over the Bank Holiday weekend.

The UK’s stuntbike football team will be taking on a Rest of The World team in the match, which will test the players’ advanced riding skills.

Mike Bushell joined in a team practice in Northamptonshire – on a slightly more controllable bike.

As you can see in the video, this is clearly an outstanding idea that certainly won’t influence copycats anywhere in America. In fact, just the other day, my neighbor was revving his motorcycle’s engine at 3 a.m. so I walked outside to make sure he was OK, because I know that his bike is his only mode of transportation since he got his third DUI, and thankfully he was just drunk and showing his roommate how to make donuts. What a relief, I wouldn’t want him to be laid off from that cell phone kiosk.

And since the BBC doesn’t like to share videos, here’s footage of Jesse James blowing himself up on a stuntbike trick gone wrong. That Nazi fetishist can take a licking and keep on ticking.

Jesse James Bazooka Bike Accident

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