Raise your hand if you knew who Quinn Nordin was before today. Now put your hands down, because unless you are seriously addicted to college-football recruiting, you had no idea because Nordin is a high-school kicker (a kicker) from Michigan. The above video is what he posted to Twitter to announce that he was committing to attend Penn State to play college football. It is completely banana-pants. Let’s break it down.
Nordin arrives at an airstrip (I guess there’s one in State College?) via a private propeller plane, which means one of two things: Either Quinn has access to a private plane, in which case, enjoy being 18, or Penn State flew him in, which means academics are STILL not a top priority at Penn State. Any time a college program has enough coin to fly out a KICKER, they should probably scale things back.
Also, the music is “Coming Home” by Diddy (back when he was Diddy Dirty-Money), which is the tune everyone hummed in their head when they were reading LeBron’s letter about returning to Cleveland last year. It might be a bit much for a kicker who went to high school in Michigan committing to Penn State. Maybe just a bit.
That’s almost as weird as somebody playing “Empire State of Mind” for their commitment to Syracuse. Do you even know the New York Alicia is singing about, bro?
“My name is Quinn Nordin, and I’m committing to Penn State University. #WeAre #DaPride16.” He was definitely speaking in hashtags at the end of that sentence. And as the chorus comes in and the video turns to color — just like the Wizard of Oz! — we get this gem:
Dude, if you wanna go the inspirational route — if you really want us to feel something — throwing in your player card (and is that Arial font?) kind of undercuts that message.
If you want to go with the “I’m the sh*t” angle, which is a perfectly fine angle, maybe go with, I don’t know, “The Next Episode” (the horn fanfare at the beginning is always perfect for slow-motion walk-ons) or “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” or even “Celebration” by A$AP Rocky (though that’s a deep cut, to be fair).
Just stay in your lane, Quinn. Although, considering you’re a kicker recruit making an inspirational hype video featuring a private plane, you left your lane behind quite a while ago. And we’re the lucky ones who get to enjoy the ride.