Kris Humphries Couldn’t Skip Practice For His Divorce, But He Will Miss The Playoffs

Wednesday night’s blowout victory over the Dallas Mavericks marked the eighth-consecutive game that Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries has watched from the bench. On that night, K-Hump was scratched from the game at the last second because of a nagging back injury, but it’s important to note that despite being benched recently, he is still showing that winning in his No. 1 priority.

On Tuesday, Humphries’ wife, Kim Kardashian, was deposed for nine hours by his attorneys as she told her side of the story in their seemingly neverending divorce proceedings. Except Humphries, who vowed to be there, as part of his quest to expose her as a fraud who never loved him and only wanted money, decided that practice and being with the team is more important. That is, unless it’s for a playoff game.

Sources tell the gossip site that the Brooklyn Nets player had practice and travel obligations with his team. The 28-year-old was in Michigan on Monday, had practice while Kardashian sat for her epically long depo on Tuesday, and had to travel to Dallas for a game on Wednesday.

Although he missed out on his pregnant ex getting a lengthy grilling from his lawyers, Humphries is reportedly firm on attending the May 6 trial even if it conflicts with the NBA playoffs. (Via the NY Post)

Here’s how I see this playing out – The Kardashian attorneys are going to make sure that the trial is scheduled for the same day as a Nets playoff game, causing Humphries to infuriate his entire team when he stays true to his word and attend the trial. But he’ll tell his teammates not to worry, because he’ll charter a private jet and fly wherever he has to so he can be there to contribute, like Derek Fisher did for the Utah Jazz during the 2007 Western Conference Semifinals. Except instead of entering the game to a standing ovation after arriving in the third quarter, Humphries will slip on a towel and tumble into the Gatorade cooler, spilling the liquid everywhere while the tub ends up his head. And somehow a live fish will pop out of his shorts.

And then Kim and Khloe can go back to smelling each other’s vaginas.