Lacrosse The Movie: Like Drumline, But With The Whitest People You’ve Ever Seen

Pro Wrestling Editor
11.28.11 10 Comments

Funny what you notice the first time you see a movie trailer. Hairlessly handsome white folk, narration that makes it sound like the first paragraph of a freshman essay … what’s impossible to know at first glance [dramatic pause] is everything else. Aaaand wipe!

Twilight’s Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene re-team in a story of young love and the true meaning of sportsmanship and life. Co-starring Chord Overstreet. Coming to select theaters and on Video On Demand December 2nd!

WWE Studio films have taught me that “coming to select theaters” is code for “Wal-Mart doesn’t sell direct-to-DVD movies so we’re releasing it in four theaters for a day”. I’m glad they’re doing it, too, because this movie has it all… Ashley Greene’s weird coke nose, Kellan Lutz not having armpit hair but being able to karate kick down a building, inaccurately played lacrosse … hell, it has everything you could hope for in a movie. Except a black person.

Wait, sorry, there are two black ladies in the crowd near the end. I didn’t notice them because my brain was recovering from “I know everyone faces hardship in life …it just seems like some people … are act’ally made SHRONGER by it”.

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