Sports

Cover Your Ears: The 15 Loudest Shots In MMA History

Mixed martial arts can be difficult to watch at times. It’s a combat sport, so occasionally, there are disturbing moments, from fighters suffering prolonged knockouts, to damaged limbs, whether from submissions or freak accidents. However, while upsetting visuals are more common, the sounds that accompany them are often far more terrifying. Let’s take a listen to some of the most brutal sounds in mixed martial arts that didn’t come out of Michael Schiavello’s mouth.

A brief note about the “selection process” for this: I didn’t want to have a lot of similar entries, like “loud body kicks” or “heavy ground and pound that gets picked up by the microphones.” I could have made a list of just Edson Barboza and Cro Cop kicking dudes, but I thought it would be better to have a nice selection of impacts and reactions.

Misha Cirkunov vs. Alex Nicholson

In terms of brutal and disgusting, knowing that this crackling is the result of Nicholson’s jaw getting broken is pretty gross.

Marco Polo Reyes vs. Cristian Soto

The Ultimate Fighter gets the benefit of limited crowd noise to really let strikes stand out. However, these two guys on the second season of TUF Latin America traded huge shots that all got picked up by the microphones.

Dong Hyun Kim vs. John Hathaway

I try not to pat myself on the back too much (except for when I totally nail a prediction), but I don’t know what else I can say about this spinning back elbow KO than when I originally covered it with “Big Dong to Face Causes Extreme Reaction.”

Yahir Reyes vs. Estevan Payan

Oof, that’s a solid thump to the brainbox. Gotta love centrifugal force and all it has contributed to fight science.

Lyoto Machida vs. C.B. Dollaway

Loud, snappy body kicks are great. Clarence Byron “Fart Face” Dollaway being in pain is also great. Clarence Byron “Fart Face” Dollaway being in pain due to a loud, snappy body kick is the greatest great thing.

Pablo Garza vs. Fredson Paixao

While not the worst sounding knee to the head, this is pretty loud. Luckily Fredson Paixao’s skull held together, unlike a fighter further down the list.

Thiago Santos vs. Steve Bosse

Take that, Hockey Man! Return to the wilds of Canada, strap your knife-boots back on your feet and go back to skating around like a chump.

Kyle Noke vs. Peter Sobotta

Kyle Noke hates your guts and is more than willing to kick your guts to death. The slight delay between the crack of the kick and the pained groan makes me appreciate every day my tummy remains unkicked.

Fedor Emelianenko vs. Brett Rogers

There’s a reason this knockout got photoshopped to have Fedor knocking Brett’s head from his shoulders and into the crowd. Big, loud, thudding punch to the face and blammo!

Matt Riddle vs. Dan Simmler

Oh man, this is uncomfortable to listen to. Riddle obliterates Simmler and then poor Dan spends a long time moaning in pain as his brain tries to piece things back together.

Mirko Filipovic vs. Igor Vovchanchyn

Of course the master of headkicks has to make the list. This Cemetery to tiny punch, man, Igor is pretty impressive.

Uriah Hall vs. Adam Cella

“Sorry, Adam” really covers it better than I can. The general quiet of a bout on TUF makes the sounds of strikes pop a lot better than a regular show.

Veronica Macedo vs. Chrissy Audin

Holy sh*t, that is the loudest kick in the world. Not even the most shameful of wrestlers would slap their thighs hard enough to make a kick this loud. Well done, Veronica.

Alexander Shlemenko vs. Bubba McDaniel

This isn’t an impact noise, but a post-attack noise. I think it is technically a death rattle.

Michael Page vs. Evangelista Santos

Oh no, oh my goodness. That dull, wet thud is horrific. We all know that Page literally broke Cyborg’s skull with this knee, so I don’t want to celebrate this, exactly. This is just recognition that this sound is the most disgusting noise ever heard in a MMA cage.

So, what did we leave out? Sound off in the comments below!

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