The NBA All Star Jerseys Have Leaked, And Hoo Boy Are They Hideous

The NBA put sleeves on jerseys to sell them to people who won’t wear tanktops in public and put nicknames on the backs to sell them to people who don’t take anything seriously, but I guess that wasn’t enough.

Please poke a hole in a piece of paper and look through it to observe the new, leaked 2014 NBA All Star jerseys. Good GOD are they monstrous. It’s happening in New Orleans, you see, so they’ve got the fleur-de-lis on there, and that’s it. They’re just silky t-shirts in random crayon colors that look like they were put together in a surf shop at Myrtle Beach.

Here’s a better look at them, courtesy of Twitter:

It’s like somebody saw Dwyane Wade’s post-game interview clothes and though, “they should playing in that.” I hope next year’s uniforms are long-sleeved, and include red clown noses for all the players to wear.