Paging Dr. Spaceman, Paging Dr. Spaceman

Senior Writer
12.30.11 4 Comments

Of course the only picture I could find of Alex Rodriguez's doctor has Nick Nolte in it.

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently took a little trip to Germany to meet with Dr. Peter Wehling, who is the former doctor of Pope John Paul II and the guy who made Kobe Bryant’s knee feel better last year. Wehling is operating on – or has operated on, depending on the time zone difference – Rodriguez’s knee and shoulder, which have both been hampering the All-Star’s ability to perform at the level of a man who is paid $27.5 million per year. If you’re a Yankees fan, you should probably feel good about this because Wehling has a reputation for being legit.

And Wehling knows that his reputation is great, because he also makes some pretty ridiculous claims like:

“I am the only one to have found a way to cure arthritis,” he said. (Via ESPN)

I couldn’t ever become a doctor because if I see blood, I turn into a 3-year old girl. But if I were a doctor, I would want to be like Wehling. Whether he can or can’t cure arthritis won’t mean much to me for another decade or so, but if I had been the man responsible for keeping Pope J.P. the Deuce alive until the ripe age of 85, I’d be a little boastful, too.

Like, I’d walk into bars and tell the first hot girl I saw that she looks like she might have Shlarvenblarvenblitis, and she’d say, “I don’t know what that is, is it deadly?” And I’d respond, “It could be, but the only way to cure it is for you to rub your breasts in my face.” Then I’d high five the Pope and tell A-Rod to sock a few dingers.

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