Tonight, the Washington Redskins play the New York Giants. If you have something better to do, please do it, because this game is going to be terrible. It’s Week 3, and these two teams are already playing for a vital win. If Washington wins, they are in the driver seat for the division now that Romo and Dez are out for weeks and the Eagles are running around with their head cut off. If Washington moves to 2-1, they can easily keep pace or even outpace the now crippled Cowboys. The Skins have a legit defense and running game, and Kirk Cousins has managed to keep his composure thus far.
On the other side, the hometeam Giants should really be 2-0, but are instead 0-2. It’s very hard to tell if the Giants are a decent team that fell apart twice at the wrong moment, or actually a bad team that never should have been winning in the first place. My money is on the latter.
Thursday Night Football is bad. Thanks to less prep time and recovery time the teams are not as focused or near 100 percent and the games tend to be sloppy, one-sided affairs. We got a good one last week, but good games are the exception, not the norm. Both of these teams tonight are highly questionable. It’s going to be bad football. Luckily, we have some drinking games for you so that you can enjoy the experience and go into work on Friday hungover and take a half day.
THE NEW YORK GIANTS DRINKING GAME
-Drink when they cut to Tom Coughlin looking exasperated after a penalty flag is thrown
-Drink when you see Eli ManningFace
-Drink every time Rashad Jennings or Andre Williams gets stuffed for one yard or less
-Drink every time the Giants force a 3rd and long and the Skins convert anyway
–Drink every time Preston Parker drops a pass Nevermind he got cut lol
-Drink when the announcers talk about JPP
-Drink when the announcers bring up Larry Donnell’s three TD game last year after he drops a pass
-Finish your drink if the Giants blow a 10 point lead
THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS DRINKING GAME
-Drink every time they show RGIII
-Drink every time Kirk throws a INT
-Drink every time Jay Gruden looks confused
-Drink for every time they miss a deep pass and someone mentions missing DeSean Jackson
-Drink whenever Phil Simms and his Giants bias makes him crap on the Skins
-Finish your drink if the Skins get blown out
THE BROADCAST DRINKING GAME
If you have no personal stake, here’s a broader game for the rest of you with nothing better to do than to watch bad Thursday Night Football
-The game is in the Meadowlands, so drink whenever they show the Statue of Liberty, Freedom Tower, Brooklyn Bridge, Central park, Empire State building, Ellis Island, or New Jersey
-Drink every time the broadcast accidentally catches a player or crowd member saying a bad word
-Drink every time they call up Mike Carey to comment on an obvious penalty
-Drink when they cut to Tracy Wolfson saying completely obvious statements from the sideline
-Drink every time you audibly groan at Phil Simms
-Drink every time Phil Simms flubs whatever he’s saying
-Drink every time Phil Simms won’t shut up even if a new play is happening
-Drink because Phil Simms
THE HOSPITAL GAME
Here’s a little game me and some friends invented for when we need to black out by halftime. Play this with a group of friends:
-Pick a QB. Every time the announcers say his first name, drink
-Every time the opposite team gets a first down, drink
-Everyone in the group picks a skill position player (WR, RB, TE). Every time that player gets a first down, drink. Every time that player gets a touchdown, drink twice. Every time that player is involved in a penalty, drink. If the player is involved in a turnover, drink three times
-Chug your drink for any shanked field goals
THE SUICIDE GAME
-Drink every time you see a Draft Kings or Fanduel commercial
