Terry Francona Now Has A Bunch Of Free Ice Cream In Case He Gets Insomnia In His Hotel Room Again

Remember that time Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona told the world he couldn’t sleep before Game 5 of the World Series, so he ordered $44 worth of ice cream from room service? That’s quality content right there, folks. It’s topical and everyone likes the idea of eating that much ice cream alone in the darkness. It’s my life goal.

Since everything beautiful and pure — like eating $44 worth of ice cream in your hotel room in the middle of the night — must be tainted by marketing gurus and ad wizards, a Cleveland-based ice cream company sent the team a whole mess of ice cream as a “World Series ice cream survival kit.”

Cleveland.com wrote about it and I’m writing about it here, so give the person at Pierre’s Ice Cream who thought of this a raise.

Cleveland-based Pierre’s heard about his late-night order of ice cream from room service during the early morning hours before Sunday’s Game 5 of the World Series matchup with the Chicago Cubs in Chicago. The Cubs won that game, but are trailing the Indians in the best-of-seven series.

“With the series moving back to Cleveland… as a proud Cleveland company and the official ice cream of the Cleveland Indians, we wanted to do our part to help Mr. Francona and the team on to victory in Game 6!” said Matt Thornicroft, Pierre’s assistant marketing and communications manager, who hand-delivered the container to the Indians’ Clubhouse.

They sell this ice cream at Progressive Field, and Francona is a millionaire, and I’m pretty sure the team picks up the tab on all his room service purchases while on the road, so really, Francona told the world he ate some free ice cream, and now he and his players, also millionaires, have more free ice cream they don’t need. Shouts to the people covering the World Series that stood there holding their recorders while this Thornicroft gave a speech he had been rehearsing throughout the car ride to the stadium.

Maybe the team will eat this ice cream and they will all get sick. Then they will lose Games 6 and 7. Pierre will become the new Steve Bartman. “We were up 3-2 before this French guy gave everyone on the team 48 hours worth of diarrhea! Let’s storm the Pierre’s factory!” Then there will be a 30-for-30 doc in 2029 narrated by Drew Carey.

Thanks for reading.