This Chicago Bulls Hat Has Fake Poop On It

10.19.12 6 years ago 10 Comments

My favorite Warming Glow contributor, Josh Kurp*, sent me an email earlier with a link to a Tumblr post that featured the above picture. What you see, obviously, is a man wearing a Chicago Bulls hat with fake poop on the bill. At least I hope that’s fake poop. If it’s real poop, then we’ve got a whole different ballgame going on.

But based on the assumption that the poop is fake, I am forced to ask – why? For further head-scratching, I will refer to the person who took this strange picture, @cordjefferson.

I went to a fashion show and one of the people sitting next to me was a man with a mound of fake shit tied onto his Chicago Bulls hat brim with a golden chain. “Is shit in now?” I asked the people around me, looking down at my boring grey t-shirt, which had no poop on it. “Shit is the new thing?” Nobody knew if poop was cool these days, and I felt both old and out of it but happy to be old and out of it.

You are certainly not alone.

In fact, if I could ever meet the gentleman in that picture, I would like to ask him the following questions:

  • Why is there fake poop on your hat?
  • Does the gold chain hold the poop in place or did you want to make the poop fancy?
  • What kind of poop does this resemble?
  • Why the Chicago Bulls?
  • Would you like to poop on the Bulls?
  • Do you have poop on any other sports team hats?
  • How much poop is appropriate for a Cubs hat?
  • Does the poop have an odor?
  • Do people ever stop you and ask you why you have poop on your hat?
  • When you don’t wear a hat, do you put poop on your head?

What a fascinating Friday this has become.

*Danger knows what he did.

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