03.03.10 8 years ago 21 Comments

Tony Romo must really like golf; it was a point of contention during his relationship with pop starlet Jessica Simpson, which ended last summer. One has to wonder whether Simpson, whose weight became tabloid fodder around that time, was violating Isaac Newton’s law of “thicker the cushion, sweeter the pushin’.” That was Newton, right?

Here’s another Simpson ex, John Mayer, when asked by Playboy about Jessica’s abilities in the bedroom:

That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm…

That was not all he had to say:

There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, “I want to quit my life and just f!ckin’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f!ck you, I would start selling all my sh!t just to keep f!cking you.”

I think what John Mayer is trying to say is that he sucks at golf.

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