WEEKEND PICKS: THE NON-U.S. OPEN PREVIEW

08.24.07 11 years ago 5 Comments

What to watch for in this weekend's biggest match-ups.  Home team in ALL CAPS. 

Braves over CARDINALS — I say the Mark Teixeira homerpalooza continues this weekend in St. Louis.

INTERNET PROFITS over Internet Romance — Internet romance is shrouded in too many veils for my taste.  Meanwhile, a stripper in Vegas inspired Jason Grunstra to start a business to get women breast implants.  I know the feeling.  I've often been inspired by Vegas strippers.  To masturbate.  Blind drunk.  At six in the morning.  In the hotel bathroom.

Gabriel Gonzaga over Randy Couture — I picked Cro Cop over Gonzaga last time, and Cro Cop promptly got kicked in the temple.  Couture's a smart fighter, but I think Gonzaga's simply too much of a badass.  Reiteration: I'm an idiot at picking anything, so there you go.

Ana Ivanovic over MARIA SHARAPOVA — And I'm not talking about the U.S. Open.  Unless it's being held in my pants this year.  Hey-O! (Check out the Ana slideshow at Darren Rovell's Sports Biz blog) 

DATE RAPE versus Finger Rape (pick 'em) — American hoops player gets 18 months in the hoosegow for putting his fingers where they don't belong.

Have a great weekend, everyone.  I know that I joke about it a lot, but PLEASE don't rape anyone.  As always, check in over the weekend for more goodness.

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