Yankees Play-By-Play Announcer John Sterling Will Call Hallmark Channel’s ‘Kitten Bowl’

Hallmark Channel announced yesterday that its upcoming Kitten Bowl, a Puppy Bowl competitor that will run during halftime of the 2014 Super Bowl, will be hosted by Howard Stern’s wife, Beth Stern, and called by Yankees play-by-play announcer John Sterling. The event will be conducted in association with North Shore Animal League America, the world’s largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization, which will help place all of the participating kittens in homes once the festivities are over. Also, the whole thing is a total crock of sh*t because THE KITTENS AREN’T EVEN PLAYING FOOTBALL. JESUS.

Kitten Bowl, which Hallmark is calling “the greatest feline showdown in cable television history,” will include an obstacle course WITH hurdles, tunnels, hoops, jumps, weave poles, lasers, lures and toys on strings.

Ugh. Cats would try to steal viewers from the Puppy Bowl by staging a fancy decathlon during halftime of the Super Bowl. I mean, just look at that asshole in the banner picture, with his conniving little jerk face. Makes me sick.

(Image via Getty)