TV

Be The Queen Of The Castle With These Elaine Quotes From ‘Seinfeld’

Since Seinfeld ended 17 years ago, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has become its most successful star (she’s the President of the United States for goodness sake). Similarly, Elaine Benes has become somewhat of a prototype for the perfect female sitcom lead, from her — at times — rather misanthropic view of the world, to being an outspoken and independent woman who unabashedly says what she’s thinking and quite literally dances like no one is watching. So for all of those reasons and the fact that it’s been impossible for me and my family to get together without quoting and making references to her and Seinfeld since the ’90s, I’ve gathered 20 of Elaine’s most memorable lines from the course of the show’s nine seasons. Don’t agree with these choices? Add your favorites in the comments.

“Get out!”

Elaine made shoving your friends in disbelief the norm, by literally shoving each and every one of them throughout the course of the show!

“I’ll go, if I don’t have to talk.”

She showed people that it’s okay to be in one another’s company while remaining completely silent when she agreed to hang out with Jerry on strictly those terms.

“He took IT out.”

Elaine foreshadowed the sexts and Snapchats girls everywhere would unfortunately be on the recieving end of in the not too distant future when she went on a blind date with one of Jerry’s friends and he exposed himself to her.

“We just wanna take this and add that.”

Everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too, which is why Elaine and Jerry trying to figure out how to become friends with benefits was such a monumental moment in Seinfeld history.

“You’re bald! I don’t like this thing! And here’s what I’m doing with it!”

Elaine made it okay to call people on their BS when she called out George for being the ultimate hypocrite for not wanting to date someone who was bald, even though he was wearing a toupee.

“I can’t do this anymore, it’s too long! Just tell your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! Die!”

If there’s one thing I love about Elaine (and there’s a lot) it’s that she and I have similar taste/distaste in movies. Sack Lunch for life!

“It’s true… I’m George, I’m George!”

At least Elaine recognized when something awful was happening to her, which is why she was so upset when she started to recognize that she was adopting the same habits as George.

“She just bought me some new panties and they’re all ‘laid out for me’.”

Elaine always had the right approach when she wanted to mock Jerry, especially when she had some fun with his pitiful attempt at talking dirty with his date.

“I’m speechless. I’m without speech.”

Elaine was always one with words — she did work in the publishing industry, after all — which is why it was such a treat when Seinfeld literally stripped down the meaning of words in the English language.

“I don’t need you to tell me what I don’t want, you stupid hipster doofus.”

Pretty much the perfect line to use if you’re ever accosted by a supposed taste expert at a record store.

“I’m Queen of the castle.”

Elaine’s reign as Queen of the castle didn’t last very long in “The Contest,” after she couldn’t keep her hands off of herself after getting a glimpse of John F. Kennedy Jr. in her spin class.

“I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.”

Elaine always had a way of pointing out all of life’s mysteries, which is why when she finds out that men experience shrinkage after swimming, she takes the opportunity to ask what it’s like to have one of “those things.”

“Stella!”

Elaine made quoting movies/plays cool when she was overly medicated and shouted the famous line from A Streetcar Named Desire at Jerry’s aunt, who yes, was named Stella.

“That’s my nipple!”

You know that moment when you shouldn’t have posted a photo to Instagram without giving it a quick once over? That’s the look Elaine had on her face when she distributed a Christmas card featuring her own nip slip to hundreds of friends and family thanks to Kramer.

“Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!”

Elaine took the male ego and threw it right under a bus when she told Jerry that she had faked orgasms while having sex with him.

“So, you think you’re spongeworthy?”

Elaine was a woman who knew what she wanted, so when her birth control of choice — The Sponge — she had to literally interview potential sex partners and see if they were worthy of a sponge. Poor eventual Luke from Gilmore Girls.

“You want a Christmas card? Okay, here’s your Christmas card.”

George was always asking for it, and this time, Elaine gave him what he wanted after he didn’t receive the aforementioned Christmas card.

“You’re through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up, no more soup for you. NEXT!”

Elaine turned the tables when she purchased an armoire with all of the Soup Nazi’s secret recipes in the drawer and ended both his reign and her ban from his soup shop.

“Yada yada yada.”

Elaine made it totally acceptable to gloss over the boring parts of a conversation thanks to her surgical use of the phrase, “yada yada yada.” Now if only some people could take a note from this episode.

“Maybe the dingo ate your baby!”

This quote, which Elaine uses when she’s tired of hearing a woman talk about what happened to her husband at a party, is the perfect weird conversation escape hatch.

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