It’s been over two years since 30 Rock went off the air and yet the characters and joke-dense dialogue seem every bit a part of the public lexicon as when Tracy Jordan had something on his mind grapes. For that reason, I’ve gathered some of the most memorable Kenneth Parcell lines that you probably hear people using from time to time and I’ve identified when it’s all right to use them with your co-workers.
“There are only two things I love in this world, everybody and television.”
Everyday use: When your co-worker sees the good in everything… to a fault.
“I once ate an entire witch, a pig was nothing!”
Everyday use: When their efforts are greater than yours and they aren’t afraid to remind you.
“All these books, sir! It’s like I’m back at school, learning about the dangers of book-reading.”
Everyday use: When everything they use at work was self-taught.
“Mr. Jordan, it’s Kenneth Parcell, from work. And friendship.”
Everyday use: When you want to remind them that co-workers can be friends too.
“Global warming? Sorry, sir, that’s just scientist talk. The same people who say my grandfather was a monkey. If that’s true, why was he killed by a monkey?”
Everyday use: When ignorance is bliss.
“I love how it makes me feel. It’s like my heart is trying to hug my brain!”
Everyday use: When you find out that Satan is in every cup of coffee you drink.
“Alcohol? This smells just like hill people milk.”
Everyday use: When they have other uses for everyday items.
“When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.”
Everyday use: When they ask you about your family history.
“I like your top. I’m a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.”
Everyday use: Yeah, don’t use this one. On second thought, maybe only use these with your friends.