Anthony Bourdain Is Worried That Guy Fieri Will Never ‘De-Douche’

2014 Creative Arts Emmy Awards - Press Room
Getty Image

The next time Anthony Bourdain’s in Las Vegas, he’s probably not eating at Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen & Bar. The outspoken chef/friend-of-Uproxx was in Atlanta this weekend as part of his Close to the Bone stand-up tour, and most of his material apparently involves mocking Adam Richman and Guy Fieri. “And what’s the deal with frosted tips?” he never said, but should have.

“The minute that you become a father, certain truths become immediately obvious to you. The first second you see your daughter’s head corkscrew out of the womb and open her eyes, they are pretty much saying ‘Lose the Ramones shirt.’

So I’ve made some adjustments in my life. So I sort of feel in a heartfelt way for Guy [Fieri]. I wonder about him. He’s 52 years old and still rolling around in the flame outfit… What does he do? How does Guy Fieri de-douche?” (Via Atlanta Magazine)

And on Richman:

“Why did we watch [Man vs. Food]? Admit it. You wanted him to die.” Bourdain added that during his travels, he noticed that the show was popular in countries like Yemen, Iran, Libya, and Afghanistan. “The show confirms their worst suspicions—that Americans are fat, lazy, slothful, [and] wasteful.” Bourdain then imagined a poor goat herder in the mountains of Afghanistan sitting in front of an old television after a long, hard days work and watching Richman choking on more animal protein than the farmer’s family would ever see in years. “I know what he’s thinking, ‘America is a terrible place. I want to join ISIS.’” (Via Atlanta Magazine)

The one Food Network personality Bourdain is fine with? Ina Garten, who’s “one of the few people on [the network] who can actually cook.”

SOMEONE’s never had Fieri’s Guy-talian Nachos with extra donkey sauce.

(Via Atlanta Magazine)

And for anything else you may have missed on the web today…