Bruce Campbell Uses Andy To Demonstrate To Conan How To Properly Autograph A Woman’s Breast

Bruce Campbell may be a man in his 50s now, but that doesn’t make him any less popular with the ladies, as he revealed on Conan Tuesday night while promoting season two of Ash vs. Evil Dead, which premieres on Sunday. As Conan points out, Campbell’s fans are as obsessed, maniacal, and driven as ever, and as a result the cult film star is asked to sign a lot of breasts. Although Campbell — a happily married man of 25 years — is quick to clarify: “I do not ask to sign breasts. That would be very offensive in this day and age. ‘Ma’am, can I just sign your booby?’ It’s not going to work.”

But having said that, Campbell admitted that breast signing is something he takes very seriously: “It’s not something you slap, dash, and do. It’s a Sharpie, it’s a very specific pen, it reacts with the skin’s oils very specifically, and sometimes it’s prone to skip, and then you’ve ruined your entire signature.” Campbell stressed the importance of applying surface tension to the situation, but as he continued to elaborate, it became clear that he needed a model to demonstrate on. And luckily for us, Andy just happened to be sitting next to him (although not so lucky for Andy).

Personally speaking, I know I would feel much more confident letting Bruce Campbell sign my breast now, knowing what a commitment he has to his craft.