Charlie Sheen Officially Dead! (on 'Two and a Half Men')

For those of you gambling on how Charlie Sheen’s character would leave “Two and a Half Men,” you can take the non-death options off the table. Deadline has confirmed that the two-part Season 9 premiere will feature Charlie Harper’s funeral.

Charlie’s girlfriends will come back for the occasion, and his house indeed will be put on the market. The episode will feature potential buyers coming to see the house (as I reported earlier, the list is expected to include real-life celebrities and stars from Men co-creator Chuck Lorre’s other series), with Ashton Kutcher among them. However, I hear he will not be the rightful owner of Charlie Harper’s digs by the end of the premiere episode, with the storyline expected to be extended into Episode 2.

Some smarty-pants figured that Charlie would be left alive to leave the door open for possible future guest appearances from Sheen, assuming that the show’s former star becomes contrite once his coke-and-hooker money dries up. But no, apparently showrunner Chuck Lorre took it personally when Sheen sued him and went on a national tour to call Lorre a “p*ssy” and repeatedly swear revenge. Lorre’s pretty thin-skinned that way.