The extended delay between “Mad Men” seasons is already starting to get to me. I’m so used to my summer television watching being full of casual alcohol abuse and manliness that I can feel the withdrawal setting in. So when there’s “Mad Men” news to discuss, I’m gonna jump at it. And the recent announcement that Jon Hamm, Don Draper himself, is directing the season premiere… well that qualifies.
The idea to follow in the footsteps of co-star John Slattery and helm an episode of the acclaimed AMC hit has been “in the back of my mind” for a while now,” says Hamm. “It helps to have people you know and trust surrounding you. We’ve been fortunate enough to have very little turnover not only in our cast but in our crew.”
“I watched Slattery do it, and he handled it with such grace and ability and ease,” he continues, before adding with a laugh, “I figured if he can do it, s–t, I can do it too.”
Hey, Hamm. Cool it. What, the acting and SNL hosting and looking great in a suit and giving awesome quotes to reporters like that one wasn’t enough for you? Now you’ve got to direct, too? Come on, guy. You’re giving me a complex.
I’ll tell you what, let’s you and me make you a deal. You can go ahead and direct the season premiere of “Mad Men” on one condition: kill Timberlake. Now, I’ve got nothing against the kid personally. I kinda like him, actually. I just can’t have TWO handsome, infuriatingly talented guys running around out there. It simply won’t do. So look, production starts on “Mad Men” in August. That gives you a full summer to take care of this. That’s plenty of time. Maybe you could pull a Wile E. Coyote and paint a giant vagina on the side of a mountain and hope he just smashes into face first or something. I’m just spitballing here, it’s totally your call.
What’s important here is this: in the end, there can be only one.
