Donald Trump Solemnly Promises He Will ‘Change Tone’ After He’s Elected President

The highly entertaining Donald Trump filed his financial disclosure statement, and the New York Times published details that will make your hair fly. Over the past 18 months, Trump has earned over $380 million. Part of that money comes from speaking fees, as he is paid $250,000 per speech by organizations who enjoy seeing hotheads insult other people for giggles.

On a more pro bono note, hothead Trump paid a visit to Anderson Cooper on CNN to explain exactly why he revealed Lindsey Graham’s phone number to the world. To hear Trump tell the tale, Graham had it coming:

“I get called all these horrible names by Lindsey Graham, who I don’t even know. I couldn’t care less about Lindsey Graham. He’s registered, I think, zero in the poll. By Rick Perry in Texas, who was up in my office a few years ago. I just posted a picture of him shaking my hand and looking for money and looking for support. But they’re saying horrible things. I don’t even know these people. I’m just supposed to say it’s okay for them to say … I guess Lindsey Graham called me a jackass? Am I supposed to say, ‘Oh, it’s okay if I’m called a jackass’? You have to fight back. The country has to fight back. Everyone’s pushing the country around. We can’t allow that.”

Cooper asked the question on everyone’s mind: “Is it presidential, though?”

“I think it’s presidential to fight back. [Giving out Graham’s phone number] was a long story. You have to see the whole story, where he wanted to get on Fox & Friends, and he called me up out of the blue, I never met the guy. Then he wanted to come in for campaign contributions. Then he starts hitting me years later. I happen to have this crazy phone number. And I held it up. Actually, as you probably know, the room was packed. The place went wild. We all had a good time.”

Again, Cooper asked, “Is it presidential? Somebody in Congress, would you give out their phone number?” Cooper’s point was that any sitting President must learn to deal with being insulted by at least half the country on a daily basis. The leader of the free world shouldn’t waste all his time and energy retaliating whenever someone calls him a jackass. Trump thought about this dilemma, but only for a moment:

“That’s true. No, I think it’s a little bit different. Right now, I’m trying to do something to make the country great again. Politicians will never make this country great.”

Cooper then posed this wonderful question: “As President, you would change your tone?”

[Nodding.] “Oh, I’d think so. I’ll change my tone.’

You heard that correctly, ladies and gentleman. Trump promises to turn into a rational human being if elected. But only if elected.

(Via CNN & New York Times)