The home stretch of Game of Thrones is upon us. The Night King is dead and the ice-based threat he represented is gone with him. The various allegiances of the North are working their way toward Cersei in King’s Landing. The Battle for the Seven Kingdoms is about to go down in a big proper way and whoooooops it appears I have started rooting for Euron Greyjoy to end up on the Iron Throne? Wow. That’s weird. I’m not even sure how it happened. But here I am, slowly moving into Team Scoundrel Pirate as we approach the big conclusion. And guess what: I feel great about it.
My reasons are simple and straightforward. First of all, it would be hilarious. People would be so mad. Can you even imagine? Really, can you? Eight seasons of palace intrigue complete with numerous interweaving story arcs that all foreshadow the events taking place as it builds to a climax and then yoink, it’s just Euron, a man who looks and behaves like a guy who borrows his girlfriend’s car to go out and cheat on her. That guy is the king now. The fallout from that, the delicious chaos that would ensue on message boards and social media platforms and possibly even in the streets, would sustain me for months. I don’t know why I’m like this. I enjoy the show quite a bit. I don’t really want it to be ruined. And yet, here I am, cackling at the thought of King Euron the Unshowered.
It’s not totally outlandish, either. There are multiple ways Euron ends up in power, if you’re willing to explore the outer reaches of your mind. Here’s one: With Dany and Jon’s forces diminished after the Battle of Winterfell, he and Cersei and the Golden Company defeat them, and then he marries Cersei, and then he kills her. Boom, king. Here’s another: He buys off the allegiance of the Golden Company and uses them as his own army, double-crossing Cersei and creating a clear path to the throne should he defeat your various Starks and Targaryens. Everything is in flux right now. Plenty of room for double-crossing. You know he’s at least considered both of these options, too. He’s Euron, it’s what he does. Hell, he might push her right out this window on Sunday.