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Practice Self-Care, Follow The Fake ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ Answer Account On Twitter


Twitter

Okay, you’re scrolling through Twitter.

[scrolling]

Someone is upset about the news.

[scrolling]

Someone quote-tweeted a bad tweet from a fringe political pundit you’ve never heard of.

[scrolling]

A comedian you followed four years ago is mad about the news.

[scrolling]

Someone quote-tweeted the bad tweet again.

[scrolling]

Cabbage mangler?

Hell yeah, cabbage mangler. This is just one of the tweets from the Wheel Of Fortune Answers Twitter account, which, yup, tweets out screencaps of unsolved Wheel of Fortune puzzles with just the dumbest and best guesses you can imagine. The account has only tweeted 64 times as of this writing and already has over 100,000 followers, all of them earned.

Look.

Look again.


It’s perfect. There are few things in the world funnier than a really bad game show answer. My favorite Wheel of Fortune one was the time a contestant looked at a board that clearly suggested the answer “I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash” and instead blurted out “I Have the Wine by Johnny Cash.” One time on the old Family Feud, Richard Dawson asked a lady what month of pregnancy a woman starts to look pregnant and she answered “September” and the whole damn show flew off the rails and into a lake. (Watch that clip.) Bad game show answers are one of the most dangerous YouTube traps for one simple reason: they rule incredibly hard.

So that’s part of what makes Wheel of Fortune Answers such a great account. Posting each fun made-up answer in all-caps makes you read them in the voice of an excited contestant who really, truly thinks they nailed it, even if “FERAL RODEO” couldn’t possibly be something that exists, let alone something that a long-running game show that airs after the nightly news would use an answer.

The other thing is the sudden absurdity of seeing it appear in your timeline, just plopped in there among all the shouting about politics and current events and whatever else you have somehow chosen to introduce into your life via poor curation decisions. Please do feel free to scroll through the account’s archive of tweets. It’s a fun way to spend a minute or two. But the experience is so much better when you actually follow it and these start popping up at random, like little drops of chaos sprinkled into the monotony of your day.

Life can be hard, man. And it’s definitely important to stay up to date on things that are happening in the world. The internet gives you the opportunity to do that to a degree that would shatter the brains of people who lived in like 1988, if you hopped in a time machine and tried to explain it to them. Part of it is good, undeniably. All the information in the world is one click away. People used to have to ride a horse to a library and read an entire book by candlelight to learn what you can learn in 90 seconds with a Wikipedia search and a control+F or two. This is better than that. The drawback, though, is that having all that information can be super overwhelming. It’s just too much to keep in your head at once and it can make you go nuts if you let it. It’s good to shock the system every now and then to clear some of it out, even just for a second.

Yup, that’ll do it.

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