There are so many classic episodes of The Simpsons that there’s room for everyone to have a different favorite. Having covered such a huge amount of ground in its tenure as a show, almost every topic has been tackled, from infidelity to homophobia to alcoholism. Your favorite episode says a lot you as a person. Here are some classic favorites (seasons 1 through 11) and what each says about you. And if you don’t see your favorite episode here, just remember… a wizard did it.
“Homer at the Bat”
IT SAYS: You are a sports geek.
You regularly make reference to this episode in the comments section of Deadspin. Any post about the Yankees will force your hand to type, “I still like him better than Steinbrenner.” You can sing the entire song, “We’re Talkin’ Softball” and often will do so at the bar after your company’s slow-pitch softball game, where you very helpfully went over the game’s ground rules: “You can’t leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.”
“Lisa the Vegetarian”
IT SAYS: You are an obnoxious vegetarian/vegan.
You constantly share links on Facebook about how some cartoons perpetuate that violence against animals is funny. (Your friends have all blocked you by the way.) When invited to parties and BBBQs, you bring enough gazpacho for everyone. You could learn a lot from the tolerance of Paul McCartney and the fifth Beatle, Apu.
“A Milhouse Divided”
IT SAYS: You are a child of divorce.
Ever since your parents split up, you’ve been taking advantage of it, using your parents’ guilt to get away with mischief. Your mom is well adjusted and dating American Gladiators while your dad lives in some depressing singles apartment complex and sleeps in a race car bed.
“I Love Lisa”
IT SAYS: You are a hopeless romantic.
Don’t expect any cards on Valentine’s Day because you won’t be getting any. Your problem is that you come on too strong and often glue your head to your shoulder. (You also like “Bart the Lover” and “Bart’s Friend Falls in Love.”)
IT SAYS: You are a music snob.
You consistently quote this episode at Suicide Notes, the hip indie record store where you shop. When you hear Peter Frampton, you either instinctively tell people to get out of your cooler or quote John Cusack in High Fidelity.
“Summer of 4 ft. 2”
IT SAYS: You are a social misfit.
You have trouble fitting in and making friends and often try to remedy this by changing your look and personality, perhaps by saying things like, “Ya knooow, whatever” while dressed like Blossom.
IT SAYS: You are overweight.
Not just overweight, you’re a big fat dynamo! You enjoy the food-indulgence humor that comes with Homer’s quest to gain enough weight to get on disability. You’re also a computer programmer, a computer magazine columnist, or something to do with computers.
IT SAYS: You are a sociopath.
You take pleasure in the hardships of those less fortunate than you. You should take a minute to realize that not everyone has a dream house, two cars, a beautiful wife, and a son who owns a factory. Some people live above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley.
IT SAYS: You are an alcoholic.
You need to come to terms with your alcoholism. One day you’re trying Tartar Control Duff, and the next, you’re forgetting to clip Ann Landers and calling her a boring old biddy. Maybe try sobriety out for a bit. Sure, you’ll finally realize how boring baseball is but you won’t sweat while you eat.
“Marge Be Not Proud”
IT SAYS: You are a mama’s boy.
Under your rebellious exterior is a good son, trying to impress his mother. Your mom’s a good woman who spends 23 hours a day in the house so don’t take her for granted, capiche?
“Lisa the Greek”
IT SAYS: You are a daddy’s girl.
You cherish that bonding time with your father. Your fondest childhood memories are watching a football game with your dad where the Saints kicked a meaningless field goal at the last second to cover the spread. (You’re also partial to “Lisa’s Pony” and “And Maggie Makes Three”)
“El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)”
IT SAYS: You are a stoner.
This episode is trippy as all hell, so chances are, if your favorite episode involves a five minute psychedelic trip on Guatemalan insanity peppers with a talking space coyote, you’ve done your fair share of hallucinogens in your day.
“You Only Move Twice”
IT SAYS: You have a terrific sense of humor.
Seriously, this episode is hilarious.
“All Singing, All Dancing”
IT SAYS: You do not exist.
No one likes this episode because it is terrible. You are not a real person.