Game Of Thrones Power Rankings: Dany Goes Full Dresden

05.14.19 2 months ago

Hot damn, that was certainly an episode, wasn’t it? Daenerys went full firebombing of Dresden on us. I quite liked it. Certainly I could quibble with a few of the choices, and notably the suddenly invincible dragon (dragon ex machina!), but they’re mostly criticisms of the two previous episodes.

In this episode, the dragon worked about how you’d imagine. It was the last couple trying to artificially stretch this confrontation out and chip away at Daenerys that had to bend space and time to fit the narrative outline. Ignoring those, this episode was mostly solid. But hey, enough reviewing.

Euron Greyjoy Outfit Watch

Say what you will about Euron not getting enough character development, his outfits are always on point. Is that… a star-covered leather motorcycle tunic? Cinched with a jaunty belt? Hell yeah, dude. I’m pretty sure I don’t have the body type to pull that off, but if I did, and assuming I had the confidence and job situation that would allow it, like being the flamboyant leader of a fleet of medieval pirates, say, I would totally wear that. Just a great, great tunic all around.

Down: Euron Greyjoy

Not a ton of foresight, this one. Somehow he knew the town was lost (and presumably his girlfriend lost with it, and wouldn’t screwing her have lost its appeal for him once it was clear she wouldn’t be a queen?) and everything had gone sideways, but he still prioritized killing his girlfriend’s ex over his own life. Man, the ironborn really are miserable bastards, aren’t they? And to think, Euron is the fun-loving one.

Euron landed what seemed like two fight-ending stabs in the fight, but got cocky and didn’t twist the knife. It cost him. Rookie move. With these screenwriters? You fight a major character in this show, you better make damn sure he’s dead.

Anyway, it’s a shame (kind of) to lose Euron. He didn’t do a ton for the story but I did love that actor. (*checks Google*) Pilou Asbaek. Yep, that’s his name. He would’ve made a much better new Daario than the indie band guy. Seems like they could’ve folded Daario back into this story (I had to look it up, but apparently Daario is back in Mereen with the Second Sons. They kind of botched that whole storyline when they cut out Griff, Quentyn Martell, Strong Belwas, etc. back in season five).

RIP, Pilaf Assbeef.

Up: Daenerys Targaryen

Let us go now to our live look at Daenerys Targaryen:

You’re tearing me apart, Khaleesi!

Women, am I right? See, this is why you can’t trust them to lead. I kid, I kid. (Maybe the message is not to trust Armenians?). I actually like the “embittered liberator becomes psychotic tyrant” storyline, and especially the way it takes the air out of the concept of “righteous” war. Absolute power corrupts absolutely and whatnot. Corrupts women, anyway.

You have to wonder what happened between in the last episode and this one that made her so much better at flying her dragon. In the last episode, she was getting sniped out of the sky by one or two scorpions, then flying straight at them while shrieking before beating a hasty retreat. This week she managed to lay waste to an entire fleet, weapons battery, and eventually an entire city, simply through the novel tactic of… uh… just circling around behind them, I guess? Did she really have to be pissed off to consider trying that one? Did we miss the dragon tactics seminar?

I hope this entire episode is forgotten by next week. The show ends with Daenerys chuckling happily with her handful of remaining advisors. “Boy, I really overreacted there, didn’t I? Ha ha ha ha, war, am I right? Anyhoo, pass the lamprey cake.”

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