Here Are All 32 Of John Oliver’s Excuses For Jon Stewart’s ‘Daily Show’ Absence

On Thursday night, John Oliver said goodbye to hosting The Daily Show (while correspondents old and new returned the sentimentality with, “F*ck you”), because beginning September 3rd, Jon Stewart will triumphantly return, calling to mind that one time in 1997 when a Jewish guy kicked a Londoner out of his latke store for loitering. (We lost so many brave latkes in the Revojewutionary War.) Oliver was a more than capable fill-in, but every episode, he still had to explain why he was there and Stewart wasn’t.

Vulture has collected all 32 of his excuses in a supercut, with alibis ranging from “I’m John Oliver, still here for Jon Stewart, who is at home, recovering from a state of the art procedure in which he switched faces with Nicolas Cage” to “…is not here, because he has grown tired of watching you having sex during his show. This is a two-way screen. Whereas for me, I’m still learning things from you.” And I from you: the Bespectacled Brit is a hit in bed.