The life of a food service worker has never been a coveted one, to say the very least, but it’s arguably gotten more unbearable than it ever has been in the past few years. Whether it’s having to deal with the sudden influx of customers with life-or-death gluten allergies, parties of five or more who insist spreading their payment across 9 credit cards, or no-tipping hipster Yelpers who think that watching a season of Top Chef makes them an expert on Asian fusion cuisine, it’s a wonder how any waiter is able to make it through a dinner service without stabbing someone.
One man who understands the plight of the garcon is, obviously, Jimmy Kimmel. As a big-name celebrity living in the snooty, anti-vaccinated elitist utopia of the Hollywood hills, he has likely been privy to some of the most reprehensible restaurant behavior imaginable in his life… and that was just the time he had dinner with Jeremy Piven! (*pauses for laugh track*)
So, in order to lend a voice to the voiceless and help improve the working conditions for everyone in the restaurant industry, the “future Vice President” allowed waiters and waitresses from around the country to publicly vent their frustrations in his latest #WhatIHate segment on last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Among the top pet peeves of our nation’s service workers are “campers” who perch at the same table for hours, men who leave their phone numbers on their bill in lieu of a tip, and oddly enough, people who order an extra side of ranch sauce. While I can understand how vexing those first two offenses could be, I simply refuse to be shamed for my love of the second greatest condiment on this earth behind hot sauce. I mean, how else am I supposed to flaunt my affluence at the Little Caesar’s where my Tinder date is happening? Because if you think I’m splurging on an order of breadsticks without knowing whether or not she’s actually into me, you’ve lost your damn mind, friendo.