Larry David Spoke To Howard Stern About Masturbation And How Much He’s Worth

Any time Larry David does something notable, we will cover it. Partially because he’s the best, but mostly because the world needs the screencap of him wearing a cape now more than ever. Anyway, the Curb Your Enthusiasm creator — and yes, it’s still on hiatus — was on The Howard Stern Show today, and he discussed topics he’s covered many times before: being in the Army Reserve, threatening to quit Seinfeld if NBC didn’t air “The Contest,” etc.

You can listen to the whole thing below, but the best material’s at the end, where Stern asks David if he’s had sex with a Palestinian woman (he hasn’t), his masturbation habits, and whether the rumors of his $800 million-plus net worth are true.

Howard said Larry and Jerry have made a fortune. Howard said he knows he doesn’t like to talk about money. Larry said that the reports are so insane. He said that it’s nothing like what they say. He said he won’t say exact numbers but it’s so untrue. Larry said when he was married half of it went in the divorce. Howard asked if it killed him to give that money away. Larry said no. Howard said he beat the odds though. He said he did all of that hard work to make that money. Larry…said the money didn’t matter. He said that he’s okay with what she has because that money will go to their kids either way. (Via)

Those kids are pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty financially sound. Just keep dolls away from their dad.