The Current Bid For Lena Dunham’s Memoir Is $3.6 Million

Girls creator Lena Dunham is writing a book. This should come as no surprise, since she has already made a movie and a critically-acclaimed television show, and had her essays published in numerous highfalutin magazines, all by age 26. Based on all that the bigger surprise should be that she hasn’t written a book yet. Slate has the rundown of her proposal, and it sounds almost exactly like what you’d think a Lena Dunham book proposal would sound like.

In the intro, Dunham is self-deprecating about the idea that she has any wisdom to share, but says that if the book can help anyone avoid some of the mistakes she’s made it will be worth it. She cites Helen Gurley Brown’s Having It All as a kind of inspiration, even though she thinks much of what Brown specifically advised is totally nuts.

What’s to follow that intro, according to the proposal, are candid accounts of losing her virginity, trying to eat well (detailed diet journal included), obsessing about death, and so on, along with tips about how to stay focused on work, how not to ruin a potential relationship, and what have you. One section will recount various ways in which older men continue to be condescending and sexist, and will describe “the most awkward date ever with an older director.” Another will describe travel to various places, including Israel and Japan. [Slate]

And all that can be yours for the low, low price of $3.6 million. Or more. Holy moley.

Let me back up. I liked the first season of Girls quite a bit, and I have nothing against Lena Dunham as a human person. I mean, her productivity is a little infuriating to me because I write like 3-4 posts a day and reheat some leftover gnocchi and I am SPENT, but that one’s on me, not her. And I think a lot of the criticism of her is wrapped up in a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with her actual work, which leads to her being a really divisive figure for some people. That sucks. But, it’s just… $3.6 million dollars. That is so much money. So, so much money. I would be an incredible hypocrite (and probable sexist) if I held that figure against her one day after claiming to not be upset at Guy Fieri for his $100,000 personal appearance fee, but … it’s just so much money. So very much.

I don’t know. I suppose I’m just jealous. I think the real lesson here is that I need to get back to work on my memoir The Things I’ve Done Between Viewings of Space Jam. The bidding starts at “someone buy me lunch.”