‘Orange Is The New Black’ Discussion: Doesn’t Everyone Lie To Everyone?

News & Culture Writer
06.29.14 14 Comments


Note: Orange is the New Black discussion posts are intended to give a full season perspective, and may contain minor spoilers.

Previously: Orange is the New Black: Season Two, Episode Nine

God, is it just me or has this show gotten really super depressing all of a sudden? In episode ten, “Little Mustachioed Sh*t,” pretty much everyone is sad or miserable, except for Vee who continues wreaking havoc across the Litchfield ecosystem. Crazy Eyes (who is back to being Crazy Eyes and not Suzanne, because f*ck her), despite having been painted in a sympathetic light earlier in the season, is now reduced to being little more than Vee’s thug — bullying Miss Rosa, Piper and beating the crap out of sad hungover Poussey. Piper finally finds out that Larry’s mystery woman is actually none other than her best friend Polly, who is now apparently the dumbest person on this show as she comes to visit Piper and does everything but hand her a written confession. Morello has a visit from Christopher, who knows that she broke into his house and basically shows up to stomp on her poor, psychotic heart. Even Mendez’s firing and subsequent arrest and declaration of (maybe?) unrequited love was depressing in how overly pathetic it was.

In other storylines no one cares about: The copious flashbacks to the start of Piper’s relationship as the other woman to Alex, who was in a relationship at the time, correlate to the situation with her and Larry and Polly because — I don’t know, karma? Either way between the flashbacks and the letter, which Piper finally reads in the end, it’s obvious that Alex is going to be coming back into Piper’s life. Hooray for that.

Random thoughts:

  • Piper is also a really terrible liar, judging by that scene with Red, Had she really not thought at all about how she was going to handle breaking the news when she got back? Learn how to lie, people of Orange is the New Black.
  • Probably the sole life affirming storyline in the entire episode was Sophia’s son finally coming to visit her, so we’ll take what we can get in the rest of the bleakness.
  • Okay, so we finally found out, via a quick throwaway scene, that Poussey is in prison for dealing pot. Da fuq? Sorry if this sounds naive, but does anyone actually do hard time for selling marijuana?
  • Thanks for that mental imagery of Officer Bell’s anal fetish, Orange is the New Black. Very much appreciated.
  • I thought the whole scene with Morello and Nicky after Christopher left was very clearly leading up to her joining Healy’s group therapy session, but since it turned out not to be the case it made both storylines feel kind of disjointed.
  • Oatmeal in general tastes like snot, but somehow prison oatmeal is apparently extra snotty. Good to know in case I ever find myself in prison.
  • Piper’s now got more than revenge bags of poo to worry about thanks to her new status as Officially on Fig’s Radar — between her newsletter and dipsh*t reporter.
  • If Christopher was really that convinced that Morello broke into his house, it probably wouldn’t actually be that hard to prove if cops took like five seconds to check in with Litchfield. Oh well, screw that guy — he’s a jerk with sh*tty taste, as I’ve mentioned before.
  • I don’t even have the energy to get into the whole situation between Daya and Bennett, so I’ll let George Bluth handle this one:

never promise crazy a baby

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