Ranking The Aliases Of Sterling Archer

Archer premieres tonight! And we couldn’t be more delighted. It’ll be a return to the spying and — I hope — a return to the aliases. I’m a fan of Sterling’s made up names (see: byline) and figure what better excuse to go re-watch the series than trying to rank the fake identities.

Few caveats: Obviously “Chet Manley” is disqualified as I have a bias. I won’t be counting anything where Sterling keeps his name (ex: “The Newlyweds” or when visiting Ray’s brother [who was also named Randy]), is disguised as an established person (which is just Maj. Raul Gomez as far as I can tell), or a character without a name (KGB Guard, “The Honeypot”, etc.), though Pam and Lana did make contributions there:


I guess Duchess counts, but it’s last on the list anyways, so let’s get to the Randys…

8. Randy – Room Service Guy


Faulty backroom disguises for the mighty K-Log? This won’t do. This won’t do at all.

7. Randy – Poovey Farms Crew Leader


This is a step up. I mean, he’s a leader after all.

6. Cyril Figgis

I’m with Pam, Archer being an ass is hilarious.

5. Randy – Island Room Service Guy

See? Way better for all involved. Well, not the newlyweds I guess.

4. Randy Randerson – Sous Chef


It seems Archer likes cooking meat almost as much as talking to animals, but he doesn’t do it alone. There’s also:

Lana as Mitzi – Hostess / Failed Actress
Cyril as Chet Manley – Garçon de Cuisine (*sigh*)
Ray as Gilles de Rais – Child-Murderer
and Anthony Bourdain as Lance Casteau – Owner/Chef, Seize

3. Randy Magnum – Local Emmy Winning Camera Man and 4th, No, 2nd Ranked Pro Kitesurfer


Pictured with:

Lana as Sojourner King – tough but fair investigative reporter
Cyril as Chet – sound guy
Ray as Carl Channing – segment producer, and 3rd ranked pro kitesurfer

2. Bob Belcher


I’m all for mixing more of H. Jon Benjamin’s other animated roles with Archer, be it soccer coach or the Devil. If they could make O’Grady work, all the better.

1. Rando

Randy may be awesome, but Rando is classic.