Archer premieres tonight! And we couldn’t be more delighted. It’ll be a return to the spying and — I hope — a return to the aliases. I’m a fan of Sterling’s made up names (see: byline) and figure what better excuse to go re-watch the series than trying to rank the fake identities.
Few caveats: Obviously “Chet Manley” is disqualified as I have a bias. I won’t be counting anything where Sterling keeps his name (ex: “The Newlyweds” or when visiting Ray’s brother [who was also named Randy]), is disguised as an established person (which is just Maj. Raul Gomez as far as I can tell), or a character without a name (KGB Guard, “The Honeypot”, etc.), though Pam and Lana did make contributions there:
I guess Duchess counts, but it’s last on the list anyways, so let’s get to the Randys…
8. Randy – Room Service Guy
Faulty backroom disguises for the mighty K-Log? This won’t do. This won’t do at all.
7. Randy – Poovey Farms Crew Leader
This is a step up. I mean, he’s a leader after all.
6. Cyril Figgis
I’m with Pam, Archer being an ass is hilarious.
5. Randy – Island Room Service Guy
See? Way better for all involved. Well, not the newlyweds I guess.
4. Randy Randerson – Sous Chef
It seems Archer likes cooking meat almost as much as talking to animals, but he doesn’t do it alone. There’s also:
Lana as Mitzi – Hostess / Failed Actress
Cyril as Chet Manley – Garçon de Cuisine (*sigh*)
Ray as Gilles de Rais – Child-Murderer
and Anthony Bourdain as Lance Casteau – Owner/Chef, Seize
3. Randy Magnum – Local Emmy Winning Camera Man and 4th, No, 2nd Ranked Pro Kitesurfer
Lana as Sojourner King – tough but fair investigative reporter
Cyril as Chet – sound guy
Ray as Carl Channing – segment producer, and 3rd ranked pro kitesurfer
2. Bob Belcher
Randy may be awesome, but Rando is classic.