On Tuesday night, Seth Meyers reunited with his former SNL “Weekend Update” deskmate Amy Poehler to present a brand-new edition of “REALLY!?! With Seth and Amy.” The evening’s big topic? The current space race—the one in which a handful of super-rich white dudes who actually do have the until-now largely theoretical “more money than they know what to do with” are dropping billions to build rockets to send their pampered asses into space in the most expensive dick-measuring contest of all time. Seth and Amy had some thoughts:
Seth: “Really billionaires!?! This is what you’re going to do with your unprecedented fortunes and influence? Drag race to outer space? If you’re trying to be more likable, this won’t work. It’s like if Tom Brady tried to be more likable by wearing a fedora and yammering about bitcoin. I mean really!?!
Amy: “Really! And you know what Seth, I miss the old billionaires. The ones that wore top hats and ate caviar with their hands. Now all these new guys do is intermittent fasting and they learn Krav Maga so they can dodge all those taxes. Like they don’t have 12 layers of security at all times. You know who isn’t going into space? Any women! Really!?! Yeah, we’re staying down here ‘cause we have to fix all the things. We have sh*t to do down here!
When the topic turned to Richard Branson—who kinda-sorta (but not really) declared himself the winner of this particularly pathetic space race by heading into the outer reaches of the atmosphere on Sunday, just about a week ahead of Jeff Bezos’s planned space odyssey—Seth had a few words for the Virgin head honcho: “You didn’t go to outer space! You just went pretty high for a plane! You went to outer sky! I mean, really!?! You’re the astronaut equivalent of driving by your ex’s house to see if the lights were on.”
But it was Poehler who pointed out the obvious symbolism of these billionaires’ rockets, noting that “we all understand the obsession with the rockets, right? Really!?! The rocket’s your dick, the skyscrapers are dicks. I mean, even Freud is like, ‘You don’t need me for this, right? You get it! Those rockets are dicks.”
You can watch the full clip above.