The CW Is Making An ‘Alice In Wonderland’ Cop Drama

09.19.12 24 Comments

The CW already has a Wonder Woman origin story, a Sleepy Hollow reboot, and show about teenage monsters that is being produced by Josh Schwartz, Bret Easton Ellis, and Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke lined up for the near future, but apparently some high-ranking banana over there came back from lunch one day, sat back in his chair, put his feet up on his desk, and said “F-ck it. Let’s get weird,” because now they’re also doing this:

A script has been commissioned for the project, titled Wunderland, which is being billed as a contemporary iteration of Alice in Wonderland, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed. The drama will center on a young female detective in present-day Los Angeles who discovers another world that exists under the surface of this ultra-modern city. [THR]

Here’s what I think happened:

I bet some TV writer had a pitch meeting with The CW, right? He probably had it in his calendar for weeks, and he kept telling himself “I have time, I got this.” But then the date kept getting closer and closer, and he had nothing. Cut to the night before the meeting, with him sitting at a dimly-lit desk frantically trying to come up with a show to pitch. “A high school for dogs? No, that’ll never work. A female superhero? Crap, they’re already doing a Wonder Woman show.” The clock kept ticking, and all he had was a pile of crumpled-up note paper around him, so he decided to take a nap and set his alarm for a few hours later to come back at it fresh. That’s all he needed. Just an hour or two of sleep.


His alarm didn’t work. He woke up 20 minutes before the meeting. HOLY SH-T. HE STILL HAD NOTHING. He hurriedly slapped on shoes and jumped in his car, speeding toward the studio while mumbling “Think. THINK, DAMMIT. Oh God, my career is over. I should have listened to my mom and gone to med school.” He pulled into the parking lot and made his way into the CW’s offices. He’d have a few minutes to think in the waiting room, right? WRONG. The appointment before him canceled and they could see him right away. “Oh Jesus,” he thought. “What the hell am I gonna do?”

He sat down in the chair feeling like a man staring down a firing squad. Everyone would know he was a fraud. He jammed his sweaty palms in his pockets so no one would notice the damp marks they left behind on the outside of his pants, took a deep breath, and awaited his fate.

“Tell us what you’ve got for us,” one of the executives said.

“Well… uh, I… uh, it’s like Alice in Wonderland, but she’s a… um… she’s a… she’s a cop,” he stammered, throwing sh-t against the wall like a poorly trained pet monkey. But wait. What’s that? A smile? They couldn’t be buying this, could they? They head executive leaned in, stroked his chin, and prepared to speak. The moment of truth had arrived.

“I’m listening…”

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