The Final Eight Episodes Of ‘Breaking Bad’ Begin In Exactly One Month

Today is July 11. This means that, according to my math, we are now officially one month from the August 11 premiere of the final eight episodes of Breaking Bad. This is excellent news. Little bits of information have been dripping out for a while now — Vince Gilligan cried after writing the finale, the story is “going to come at [the audience] fast and furious,” we are all going to sh*t our pants, etc. — and it has been MADDENING, because the episodes all seemed so far away. But one month? One month is manageable. Time to start the countdown. And for those of you who somehow still haven’t started watching the show, as of today you need to watch 1.74194 episodes a day to get caught up. This is also manageable, although you best get to steppin’.

“But wait,” you say, “what the hell am I supposed to do with myself for a whole month? I’ll go crazy just sitting around here waiting!” Well, yeah. Probably. But you have options there, too. Specifically, museum- and hat-related options. I should explain.

First, there’s this, which sounds incredibly cool:

The Museum of the Moving Image in Astoria, NY will present “From Mr. Chips to Scarface: Walter White’s Transformation in Breaking Bad,” an exhibit featuring costumes, props, and video material from the highly acclaimed AMC television series. The exhibit will open on Fri., Jul 26. in the Museum’s core exhibition Behind the Screen, and will be on view through Sun., Oct. 27. On Sun., Jul. 28, the Museum will present Making Bad: An Evening with Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad’s creator– a special program featuring video clips about the evolution of the show and White’s character.

And if museums don’t do it for you, you can always buy yourself a Heisenberg hat and run around your community calling everyone Jesse and saying things like “Dammit, we have to cook!” until the cops pick you up for questioning.

Goorin Bros., the San Francisco-based hat makers, has big plans to produce a limited set up Heisenberg hats, the signature black felt pork-pie hat worn by the series’ smuggest outlaw, Walter White.

The company was tapped to produce the original Heisenberg hat for the insanely popular show; Now apparently everyone wants one of those hats (and probably some meth), which is why the century-old Goorin Bros decided to produce an exclusive collector’s edition Heisenberg hat and box set.

One month, people. Start the clock.