This is Your New Bible

I generally try to avoid delving into individual jokes on specific shows, but this must be shared and distributed to the widest audience possible: the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness (larger version here), featured on last night’s Season 3 premiere of “Parks and Recreation.” It appeared in the episode  when Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) imparted his knowledge to the youth basketball team he was assigned to coach. And that’s when we got gems of knowledge like:

CAPITALISM: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.

CRYING: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.

HAIRCUTS: There are three acceptable haircuts. High and Tight, crew cut, buzz cut. (*points to child*) Are the scissors broken in your house, son?

It’s basically a crib sheet on how to be a real man: meat, wood, bluntness, and facial hair. Go ahead and make it your desktop wallpaper.

From the episode “Go Big or Go Home.” Full episode on Hulu; watch the specific scene here.

UPDATE: Here’s an extended scene of Ron Swanson talking about the Pyramid, with several lines that were cut from the final episode. Giggety.