Russian Dolls (Lifetime) — Series premiere. Because it incorporates an older generation, the New York Press calls it “surprisingly charming” and somewhat more substantive than “Jersey Shore,” but I found this New York Magazine review much more insightful — and damning. I’m still gonna check out the premiere, though.
Jersey Shore (MTV) — Deena wants to turn last week’s disgusting tongue battle with Pauly into a relationship. How could he say no to this?
Burn Notice (USA) — Gavin Rossdale guest stars. I’ll never understood how he parlayed “Machinehead” and “Everything Zen” into a marriage to Gwen Stefani and an acting career. I’m betting on “deal with Satan.”
So You Think You Can Dance (Fox) — Season finale. The top 20 return to reprise their favorite dances before the winner gets crowned.
Extreme Chef (Food) — Season finale. NOOOO!!!! Don’t leave us, “Extreme Chef”! You’ve only just started showing us the extreme side of cooking!
NFL Preseason (ESPN, NFL Network) — ESPN is scheduled to air Seahawks-Chargers, while the NFL Network will drop in on all five preseason games being played tonight. I’ll be tuning in to the Worldwide Leader with the faint hope that Tarvaris Jackson has been magically transformed into an athlete who can throw a football into someone’s hands, perhaps as far as ten, maybe 15 yards downfield.