The Grandmother Lovers (TLC, 9:00 p.m.) — This is exactly what it sounds like. Older women (or GILFs, if you want to use the scientific term) discuss in probably horrifying detail how their relationships with much younger men violate the (Your Age/2) + 7 Rule. Say it ain’t so, Nana. Say it ain’t so.
NHL Playoffs (NBC, 8:00 p.m.) — Ah, there’s no time and place more fit for hockey than Florida in June. Right? Right?! Blackhawks at Lightning for Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
Melissa & Joey (ABC Family, 8:00 p.m.) — In case you haven’t already OD-ed on ’90s nostalgia with the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles abomination and Girl Meets World, Melissa & Joey is still a show. This week they’re concerned that Ryder wants to join the Navy, so Joey gives that maggot a taste of what the military’s really like:
The Briefcase (CBS, 8:00 p.m.) — Another family looks like selfish jerks for keeping $101,000 or helps a family in need and then has to keep arguing about whether or not they can afford to re-do their kitchen, probably.
MasterChef (FOX, 8:00 p.m.) — The first team challenge of the new season forces the Top 20 chefs to get their snack bar on in a competition at an amusement park. To the victors go the spoils, to the losers goes a pressure test involving cinnamon rolls, so we’re just gonna leave this here:
MLB Wednesday Night Baseball (ESPN, 8:00 p.m.) — NL Rookie of the Year hopeful Joc Pederson looks to keep the Dodgers rolling as they play in the very hitter-friendly confines of Coors Field. Be prepared for dingers.
Best Bars in America (Esquire, 8:00 p.m.) — College is as college does. The Season 2 finale features Jay and Sean reliving the glory days by trying their hands at beer pong and a bunch of other bar games while getting shot down by a swimsuit model.
Bullseye (FOX, 9:00 p.m.) — That one guy from Twilight talks a bunch of people into using their bodies like human darts for the chance to win $50,000.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Tom Middleditch, Rob Riggle and Spoon on Conan; Allison Janey, Jerry Ferrara and Paul Dano on Corden; Melissa McCarthy on The Daily Show; Jason Statham, Adrian Grenier and Elayne Boosler on Fallon; Alan Cumming, Alicia Vikander and Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne on Meyers.