Yay! Charlie Sheen Officially Fired!

03.07.11 8 years ago 25 Comments

Well, crap. I just wasted a bunch of time rounding up boring Charlie Sheen news, and then Hollywood executives decided to roll into work after lunch and fire Charlie Sheen. Thus ends Sheen’s winning streak.

Warner Bros. Television announced today that it has dropped the actor from its hit comedyTwo and A Half Men. “After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen’s services from `Two and A Half Men’ effective immediately. [EW]

I appreciate that Warner Bros. gave it “careful consideration.” I wonder how that conversation went.

Hollywood Executive #1: Hey, so… Charlie Sheen said that he’s going to war with Chuck Lorre and he’s a Vatican assassin warlord and we need to give him $3 million an episode if we want him back on ‘Two and a Half Men.’ Should we fire him?

Hollywood Executive #2: Whoa whoa whoa! Let’s take some time and think this over a little bit.

Hollywood Executive #1: Is that code for leaving the office to snort coke of hooker’s tits?

Hollywood Executive #2: You read me like a book.

So there you have it: “Two and a Half Men” as we know it is gone forever. And just minutes until 5 p.m. on the East Coast! I do believe it’s time to open this bottle of champagne.

UPDATE: Sheen’s response:

“This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have to look at whatshisc–k again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.” [PopEater]

Yeah! Charlie Sheen hates those shirts so much that he makes money off of selling them to people!

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