Last month we had self-righteous anti-television snobs, ‘content strategy’ types claiming they ‘think’, and community college snobbery from Toys ‘R Us retail employees. Has Twitter become any less of a self-involvement fest as we closed out 2011?
Of course not! Here are some of the best twits, er, Tweets the egotistical and clueless have to offer us.
(ED. note: Like the Facebook Fail-Log, due to an editorial oversight — i.e., I, Cajun Boy, forgot to schedule it — this feature is running a few days late. Please accept our apologies. Now let’s laugh at people who do and say dumb things on Facebook, shall we?)
@ Reply: Actually, it sounds like the definition of a jerk.
Character Overage: We’ll give him credit, he’s a Canadian lobbyist and somehow has found the money to fly first class for a while. Maybe he’s also a male prostitute?
@ Reply: No, no, it’s never a loss when you cut a self-righteous fundamentalist from your Twitter feed.
Character Overage: For those unfamiliar, Rebecca Watson is a feminist blogger who spoke about sexism in the atheist community on a panel, got hit on in an elevator, and complained it made her uncomfortable. For making a fairly common sense point about how propositioning a woman you don’t know alone in an elevator is kinda creepy and scary, she got buried under sexist comments by self-righteous atheists. In other words, it’s a typical Internet flame war that any grown adult should know better than to bother getting involved in.
@ Reply: Generally when you grow up, you become more responsible.
Character Overage: Also, when you grow up, you don’t have a Tumblr that looks like Vogue ate a feminist website and puked.
@ Reply: You used the wrong parenthesis.
Character Overage: “I didn’t ask to be a princess but if the tiara fits…” is how her profile opens. Then you discover she manages a sports bar.
@ Reply: Awwww, does snookums not get the Internet?
Character Overage: Funny how being a total jerk on the Internet and gloating about connections you don’t actually have comes back to bite you. This is the account if Internet infamous Paul Christoforo, a bully who got what he deserved.
@ Reply: We don’t take beauty criticism from a man in a mask.
Character Overage: We’d make more fun of this guy, but he’s pretty much a total blank. No wonder he’s a loner.
@ Reply: So…you’re being sent to Siberia?
Character Overage: Just remember, woman-with-yet-another-blog-about-SF-literature, in Communist Russia, science fiction books criticize YOUR lack of writing skill!
@ Reply: Please tell us you’re the one in the see-through wallpaper shirt.
Character Overage: We can’t be too harsh on the sixteen-year-old brat. Oh, wait, they grow up into thirty-year-old brats on Twitter. We can be as harsh as we want!
@ Reply: Maybe they’re confusing you with Kevin James?
Character Overage: Hey, not that we hate “Modern Family”, but come on, dude. You need to wear low-cut shirts that show off your boobies to get people to find you on Twitter.
@ Reply: Gee, we wonder why radio is dying.
Character Overage: It’s probably not a good idea to gloat about your sexual prowess on Twitter when you’re a sports radio jock in a middle market station. It comes off as a wee bit pathetic. Just saying.
@ Reply: Kind of in the same way watching a train wreck is fascinating.
Character Overage: This gig has already taught us to dislike people who call themselves “social media rock stars”, so imagine how we feel that this is this guy’s Twitter handle. Also that said rock star doesn’t even have an official site in his profile. You know, basic self-promotion?
@ Reply: No, we’re pretty sure there’s no “ish” in that one percent, there.
Character Overage: The sad thing about this tweet? Paul Kedrosky should really know better.
@ Reply: Maybe because compared to the rest of humanity you come up short?
Character Overage: What is it with photographers and arrogance? You shoot weddings for Mormons, dude. You’re inherently a boring person.
@ Reply: Define “exciting”.
Character Overage: We kind of feel bad making fun of tweets like this, because it’s hard being a musician in the modern era. Then again, when you’ve got less than 200 followers, you can maybe try some other method of getting attention for your work.
images via Tweeting Too Hard and Something Awful