Apple’s new Apple Card was released across the country this week — the sleek new titanium credit card that was announced at an Apple Special Event in March of earlier this year. The card — which has no card number, CVV, security code, expiration date, or signature — was devised as a way to use Apple Pay when shopping at places that don’t take the Apple Pay iPhone app. Also, it’s all shiny and fancy, which naturally appeals to the company’s loyal fan base.
In fact, the new Apple Card is so fancy that it also comes with very specific cleaning and care introductions, as outlined by AppleInsider on Wednesday.
If and when the card gets grimy, Apple suggests wiping it gently with a soft, slightly damp, lint-free microfiber cloth. As a second step, users can moisten a microfiber cloth with isopropyl alcohol and wipe again. Basic household cleaners, compressed air, aerosol sprays, solvents, ammonia or abrasives should not be applied to Apple Card, Apple says.
Interestingly, certain fabrics like leather and denim could permanently discolor the card’s matte white finish, which is achieved through a multi-layer coating process. That same coating might be damaged if it comes in contact with hard surfaces or materials.
Most puzzling is that Apple recommends that the card avoids denim or leather, which would rule out cardholders being able to keep the Apple Card in, say, the pocket of their jeans or in a leather wallet. This is also the aspect that AppleInsider chose to focus on when tweeting out the story.
.@Apple says clean Apple Card with a microfiber cloth, avoid contact with leather and denim https://t.co/rGtJui0qAX pic.twitter.com/i94BuhpWPW
— AppleInsider (@appleinsider) August 21, 2019
At any rate, it should come as little surprise that the news didn’t go over well with a lot of people, because … Just where the heck are you supposed to store this card? “A bag made of soft materials,” as the Apple support document suggests?
It didn’t take long for the tweet to go viral as people weighed in with jokes, memes, and observations:
https://twitter.com/TonyRomm/status/1164310667534336000
https://twitter.com/ronnyravegan/status/1164303872136847360
Don't feed it after midnight.
Don't get it wet. pic.twitter.com/aYRlPsYoPL— Maximum von SideEye (@claco) August 22, 2019
do they know how wallets and pockets work https://t.co/IqV0rzh401
— David Mack (@davidmackau) August 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/AndrewHusband/status/1164333486662127618
Apple needed Steve Harvey to come to a meeting and have them name the top two places people keep their credit card. https://t.co/sqiiPPUzl7
— James O'Hara (@nextyeardc) August 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/darth/status/1164295205400371200
“Hello! I I am here to pay with my Apple Card!” pic.twitter.com/EpMIOEPe08
— Chris D'Elia (@chrisdelia) August 22, 2019
"Don’t put the Apple Card in your wallet. Hang in a floating glass frame in a dimly lit, year round 70 degree, humidity controlled location. No flash photography please." https://t.co/HQXceki4Qf
— Mac Cormier (@maccormier) August 21, 2019
https://t.co/c5LoX1P2eg pic.twitter.com/5stPBUeYCV
— poliwhirl (@misthiOSX) August 21, 2019
https://t.co/dqoKpCdkwE pic.twitter.com/Y48IKLZuPA
— Rock Steady (@prettyjoyful08) August 21, 2019
From "You're holding it wrong" to "You own the wrong wallet and wear the wrong pants" https://t.co/6A3RxCmmaV
— Daniel ☹☹☹☹ Cheng (@erigion) August 21, 2019
https://twitter.com/pitts_man/status/1164318973854400512
https://twitter.com/The_KMich/status/1164312975488012290
And one person even evoked the classic SNL sketch, “Happy Fun Ball.”
-If Apple Card begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
-Apple Card may stick to certain types of skin.
-Do not taunt Apple Card. https://t.co/3ZcaeKJOHC
— Best Contrarian (@basquiatball) August 22, 2019
Failure to do so presumably also relieves the makers of Apple Card of any liability.