Pictured: real human boy Mark Zuckerberg
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg wrapped up a second day of Congressional testimony on Wednesday, and we’re almost convinced he’s not an android Mark Zuckerberg built and sent in his stead. Amid awkward moments like Zuckerberg nervously answering a question about his college-era “Hot or Not”-style website FaceMash, his admission that Facebook collects data on people who’ve never even been Facebook members, his claiming Cambridge Analytica had compromised his data as well, and his being called “Mister Zuckerman” by Congresswoman Yvettee Clarke, the Internet has been having fun absolutely dunking on Zuckerberg.
We already rounded up some of our favorite tweets on the first day of testimony, and now we have more tweets to read while drinking two glasses of red wine and deciding to cut your own bangs.
“This water is too spicy” pic.twitter.com/r0vNrWnN48
— Kyle, a Madson (@KyleAMadson) April 10, 2018
https://twitter.com/jbillinson/status/983794886125158400
People had a lot of opinions about Real Human Boy™ Mark Zuckerberg:
Mark Zuckerberg in a booster seat looks like he’s about to ask the waitress for chicken fingers and apple juice pic.twitter.com/oGA6RkGE4S
— Jules (@Julian_Epp) April 11, 2018
I appreciate that zuck has eight gazillion dollars and still looks like he got his hair cut by his mom pic.twitter.com/DRS8HOO5WD
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) April 10, 2018
And people really enjoyed comparing him to an alien, a replicant from Blade Runner, a Twilight Zone character, or a robot:
https://twitter.com/MatthewTeague/status/983788401190211584
“You’re in a desert. Walking along in the sand”
“Is this the test now”
“Yes, you’re in a desert walking along the sand when all of a sudden you see a tortoise”
“What’s a tortoise?” pic.twitter.com/WBZaKt0MV4— TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) (@TechnicallyRon) April 10, 2018
Reckon there's a cornfield someplace chock-full o' congress folk. #Zuckerberg pic.twitter.com/w80hyZN7BC
— Marshall Julius (@MarshallJulius) April 12, 2018
https://twitter.com/BravingRuin/status/983775963199746048
There is a 100% chance Mark #Zuckerberg is a robot 😂 pic.twitter.com/KkXiInctXh
— Mike Coudrey (@MichaelCoudrey) April 11, 2018
Mark Zuckerberg relaxing after his Senate hearing pic.twitter.com/G1dN5bRsY2
— Arby’s Provocateur (@SamGrittner) April 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/aanand/status/984090001775431680
People waxed nostalgic about the MySpace days and conjectured that Tom Anderson made the right choice to bail when he did:
tfw you aren't being grilled by the Senate Judiciary Committee pic.twitter.com/0gbOmDtJq8
— Jeffrey Young @jeffreyyoung.bsky.social (@JeffYoung) April 10, 2018
MySpace Tom cashed out for $600 million and disappeared to a life of luxury without destroying the fabric of society, he really won the social media wars in the long run
— Jeremy Gordon (@jeremypgordon) April 11, 2018
The Social Network references were de rigueur:
How many senators would have noticed if Mark Zuckerberg had sent Jesse Eisenberg in his place? Less than half, right?
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 10, 2018
https://twitter.com/nickwiger/status/984132165771247616
anyway, here's zuckerberg's arrival set to the radiohead cover from "the social network" trailer pic.twitter.com/wsuA8GaVFY
— David Mack (@davidmackau) April 10, 2018
https://twitter.com/davidstassen/status/983780214537732096
And, of course, people wondered if those members of Congress understand the Internet at all.
“Mr. Zuckerberg, a magazine i recently opened came with a floppy disk offering me 30 free hours of something called America On-Line. Is that the same as Facebook?” pic.twitter.com/U7pqpUhEhQ
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) April 10, 2018
“Mr. Zuckerberg, I recently took a test on your site that said my Saved By The Bell character was Screech. I ask you, sir, do you feel I am Screech?” pic.twitter.com/zg6SDQcOhL
— McNeil (@Reflog_18) April 10, 2018
ZUCKERBERG: im ready to answer any questions u might have about facebook
84-YEAR-OLD SENATOR: excellent. mr zuckerberg my farmville farm needs more pigs but i cannot figure out where to purchase them
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) April 10, 2018
If you’re feeling down, remember that in exactly 4 years Mark Zuckerberg is going to get one of those “Hey check out this awesome memory!” Facebook posts and it’s going to show 15 photos of him looking sweaty and miserable while being shouted at by Chuck Grassley
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) April 10, 2018
Almost feel bad for Zuckerberg. There’s no way he left that room full of old people without having to set up their wifi.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) April 11, 2018