We live in wild, weird, unpredictable times, when a president who paid to sleep with a porn star and may now get impeached took to social media to brag about his “unmatched wisdom.” But even that isn’t as out-of-nowhere as this: While defending the very same president from what he deemed “kangaroo courts,” a Republican representative implied that he thought they were run by classic children’s TV show host Captain Kangaroo.
this incredible idiot thinks that the term "kangaroo court" comes from the TV show Captain Kangaroo pic.twitter.com/CxVd8aSggL
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 8, 2019
That congressman is Matt Gaetz of Florida, who was railing against Adam Schiff, the House Intelligence Committee Chairman who is leading the impeachment inquiry. Schiff has become a household name of late, being Trump’s number one foe during the procedure he’s being struggling to thwart, most recently by saying his administration will not participate in the inquiry that could (but probably won’t) lead to his ouster from office.
Gaetz got in on the hate, repeating a Trumpist talking point about how the president is being unfairly treated by lawmakers. “What we see in this impeachment is a kangaroo court, and Chairman Schiff is acting like a malicious Captain Kangaroo,” Gaetz railed while cameras rolled.
The quote quickly took the internet by storm, many wondering which he understood less: kangaroo courts or Captain Kangaroos. For the record: A kangaroo court is the term that applies to trials — often enacted by corrupt or fascistic regimes, such as the Nazi party — that ignore judicial standards, denying rights and/or rules en route to an oft-hasty, unfair, and sometimes violent sentence. Captain Kangaroo, meanwhile, was a character played by Bob Keeshan, who presided over the beloved children’s show of the same name from 1955 through 1984.
Twitter had a ball roasting a once-relatively obscure conservative figure who seemed to think Captain Kangaroo liked to torch basic human rights.
Thank God the tyranny of Captain Kangaroo's era of dictatorship is in America's distant past https://t.co/3Y72SFBCWs
— Will Bunch (@Will_Bunch) October 8, 2019
What people don’t talk about is that they called him “Captain” Kangaroo because of his many years as a captain in the Navy SEALs and his body count of nearly 260 souls. https://t.co/wz0gPAabXF
— Jon Cryer (@MrJonCryer) October 8, 2019
https://twitter.com/saladinahmed/status/1181612856179122177
Hey @brianschatz I will buy you lunch next week if you somehow work in “Malicious Captain Kangaroo” into your next floor speech.
— Chris Murphy 🟧 (@ChrisMurphyCT) October 8, 2019
The Captain Kangaroo court will come to order. Mr. Green Jeans, please call in the jury. pic.twitter.com/Mcw6MC0GeO
— YesBiscuit (@YesBiscuit) October 8, 2019
This is a Kangaroo Court. The judge is Captain Kangaroo. The jurors? Kangaroo Jack, Roo from Winnie the Pooh, and the Dunk-a-Roos mascot. Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life is also present https://t.co/SrfJBE53Nm
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) October 8, 2019
One publication used the occasion to brief readers on Gaetz’s predictably dubious rise to power.
Today is a good day to read our profile of @mattgaetz, aka Mr Captain Kangaroo Court 😹😹👨✈️🦘 https://t.co/fhdhN9WlcH
— Clara Jeffery (@ClaraJeffery) October 8, 2019
Some began to think these relentless Trump defenders were not the brilliant tactician they thought they were.
One thing all the "Russians are coming!" movies got wrong was depicting the traitors as disciplined badasses. These Republicans are babbling numbskulls, tools, putzes, and ignoramuses. It's *embarrassing* to be betrayed by these schmucks. https://t.co/bGrHeEWxkv
— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) October 8, 2019
What we see in Matt Gaetz is a congressman ignorant of what a Kangaroo court is, and who Captain Kangaroo was. @mattgaetz – only the best serve @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/yxvL0WiRt4
— Brian J. Karem (@BrianKarem) October 8, 2019
I’d take Captain Kangaroo over any of these chumps still lying for Trump.
— Scott Dworkin (@funder) October 8, 2019
Does Congressman Gaetz think the phrase “kangaroo court” came from Captain Kangaroo?
That alone should qualify for disbarment. https://t.co/JpsTVRqu0D
— Christopher Hale (@chrisjollyhale) October 8, 2019
Captain Kangaroo could get even children to understand things.
No wonder Matt Gaetz sees him as a threat to the base.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 8, 2019
Anyway, Monday Donald Trump was invoking another children’s fave. What’s in store come Wednesday?
Yesterday, it was Wizard of Oz.
Today, it's Captain Kangaroo.I swear to GOD, u idiot Republicans better leave Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers alone or we're REALLY gonna lose it. https://t.co/ADkrzhu4dR
— BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ (@mmpadellan) October 8, 2019