Chrissy Teigen Has Detailed Her Struggles With Depression As A ‘Cancel Club’ Member Following Her Bullying Controversy

Chrissy Teigen’s not having an easy time of things after her public reckoning following her resurfaced bullying remarks to Courtney Stodden. What resulted wasn’t a good look, and Chrissy issued an apology to Courtney Stodden, although it’s difficult to remedy the matter after TMZ’s publishing of the tweets in question, along with Stodden’s Daily Beast interview with Stodden, who alleged that the behavior extended to private messages that urged her to kill herself. This has led to multiple public statements from Teigen.

Chrissy has called herself “an insecure, attention seeking troll.” She also wrote a lengthy Medium post about her “crushing regret” and how she’s been “sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment.” In a new Instagram post, Chrissy’s now discussing how horrible it feels to be a member of “cancel club,” which she calls “a fascinating thing” in a bad way. Although she’s been recently Instagrammed from Italy (during what appears to be a family vacation), Chrissy writes that “[g]oing outside sucks and doesn’t feel right.”

The cookbook author posted a photo from her couch while writing that it’s difficult to “pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter sh*t in real life.” Here’s more of what Chrissy wrote:

“Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow. All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent sh*t anymore!”

Over the past few months, reports of possibly lost partnership deals for Chrissy have swirled. Entertainment Weekly also newly reports that Gigi Hadid replaced Chrissy as the narrator of Netflix and Mindy Kaling’s Never Have I Ever.

You can read the rest of Chrissy’s Instagram post below.