President Donald Trump said on Monday that he plans to pardon a “very, very important person” today, leading to much speculation about who those VVIP (not as catchy as MVP, tbh) could be. Did I say “much speculation”? I meant, “Everyone thinks it’s the same person.” We know it’s not National Security advisor Michael Flynn and whistleblower Edward Snowden, as Trump personally ruled them out, and his previous pardons include far-right stooge Dinesh D’Souza and former-United States Army First Lieutenant Michael Behenna, who was convicted of war crimes. So, who could it be?
If you finally (blissfully) forgot about Tiger King, I’m sorry.
Do I think Trump is going to pardon Joe Exotic today? pic.twitter.com/JZXYhWwAuE
— Leif Skodnick (@LeifSkodnick) August 18, 2020
Back in April, Trump was asked whether he would pardon Joe Exotic, the Tiger King subject who is serving a 22-year sentence in prison for “various crimes of animal abuse and attempted murder for hire.” Trump replied, “I don’t know. I know nothing about it. He has 22 years for what? What did he do?” It’s the most honest thing he’s said at president. Exotic, real name Joseph Allen Maldonado-Passage, later wrote a letter asking to be pardoned. “Let’s hope President Trump will… make this right and grant me a pardon,” it reads. “Keep my story alive and be my voice. Keep asking for that pardon.”
We’ll see if he got his wish today (UPDATE: he didn’t; it was Susan B. Anthony).
Big congratulations to Joe Exotic. https://t.co/BG4vTJQzDW
— Dan Primack (@danprimack) August 18, 2020
Would anybody actually be shocked if Trump pardoned Joe Exotic? Like would that actually surprise you in 2020? pic.twitter.com/iqBJRlDkrP
— Devon Miles🤐 (@ItsJayTeeGee_) August 18, 2020
Trump is looking to pardon "a very, very important person" and the 1st thing tht comes into peoples minds is a guy doing time for murder for hire & animal abuse, Joe Exotic? pic.twitter.com/38tOu5N3eD
— .. (@MalcomVex) August 18, 2020
if you fools give Trump your vote because he pardoned Joe Exotic, I'm leaving Earth. 🌎🚀 ✨ ✨ ✨ 🪐 pic.twitter.com/m6slrnlgRl
— . (@dumpstergravyxD) August 18, 2020
Apparently Trump is going to pardon a "very, very important person".. at this rate I wouldn't be surprised if it's R. Kelly, Joe Exotic, BTK, or The Green River Killer.
— Aleks (@StillNoFuqs) August 18, 2020
COVID-19 has killed 170k Americans, the US still doesn’t have a rational testing strategy, unemployment is over 10% & somehow Trump is focused on the Obamas & H1N1 this morning.
Hey but at least he might pardon Joe Exotic for some attention…pic.twitter.com/JPunw7y85U
— alex (@AlexUlrichh) August 18, 2020
Trump is gonna pardon Joe Exotic and win 50 states. https://t.co/Dkw73e0um2
— Phil (@philllosoraptor) August 18, 2020
Quite the third-act twist for the Nicolas Cage movie.