This Lady Almost Successfully Smuggled Meth Until She Had A Wicked Fart Attack

12.24.15 3 years ago

Farts are a source of humor for all but the stodgiest humans, but they can land one in serious trouble with the law. One woman learned that farts — the source of childhood and adult enjoyment around the globe — were The Enemy after she fart-ratted herself out while sitting in a police car.

The New York Daily News has an awe-inspiring photo of the eight pounds of meth that were stashed in Chanele Benita Pauley’s car when she was pulled over near Catoosa, Oklahoma. The drugs were prettily wrapped up as Christmas presents, but when Pauley got pulled over after a simple traffic violation, the trouble commenced.

Rogers County K9 Deputy Scotty Moree observed how Pauley began to shake, sweat, and profusely fart. Moree’s police report read, “All these signs led me to believe Chanele was extremely nervous.” Indeed, Ms. Pauley was terribly frantic, for a swift police dog search soon revealed the trunk full of meth. Likewise, the scent of Pauley’s gas was doubly troublesome, so I hope the dog with a sensitive nose received a day off after this discovery.

This lady wasn’t the only source of legal amusement in Northeast Oklahoma this week. This charming gentleman was also arrested after stealing a wallet in Tulsa. The victim had an easy time describing his assailant — who sports some highly distinctive tattoos — to police. No doubt, the “F*ck Cops” and devil horn tattoos make Paul Wayne Terry hard to miss. The lip-shaped tattoo is the finishing touch on one messed-up looking dude, who represented Tulsa hard across the internet.

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