There have been many great TV roommate duos over the years, but there is none more deplorable and unsettling than the Charlie Kelly/Frank Reynolds tandem. Everything about Charlie’s apartment is probably in violation of health and building codes, and when he takes on Frank as a roommate things somehow become even worse. The apartment is declared a “sh*thole” by nearly all those who enter through its disgusting door, and for good reason.
In honor of It’s Always Sunny‘s return, let’s examine the roommate relationship between Frank and Charlie and why shacking up with them would be a very, very bad idea.
Hwang would be your landlord.
Given the dilapidated living conditions of Charlie’s building, it’s no surprise that his landlord is an angry individual who despises his tenants. Hwang isn’t the type of landlord to arrange tenant mixers or do something like make sure the heat’s working. No, he’s more the type to bang on your door and threaten to throw you on the street, only backing down when faced with a firearm as in “The Gang Gets Gun Fever.” Of course, maybe if Frank didn’t pay the rent by throwing burning money at him he’d be a little more hospitable.
Cooking is limited to a hot plate.
Charlie and Frank have made apartment 210 their home, but by all appearances, this unit was never intended for occupancy and is merely a room that they’re living in. Case in point, it has no bathroom — or at least one that Charlie warns Dee she shouldn’t use — and no stove; two basic things found in every apartment. Cooking is limited to a hot plate and it’s likely just a matter of time before the whole place ends up burning down.
Furniture is lacking and covered in feces.
In the episode “Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person,” Charlie, Mac, and Frank launch their plans to take the music world by storm with the birth of their band, Chemical Toilet. In the spirit of rock n’ roll, Mac channels his inner rock star the only way he knows how — by smashing the nearest piece of furniture. This happens to be Charlie’s “good chair” which Mac points out is “covered in bird sh*t.” Charlie denies this saying that it’s toothpaste, but is quickly called out for not owning a toothbrush by Mac. Any future roommates that Frank and Charlie take on would be wise to bring their own furniture, or just avoid the predicament completely by living anywhere else.
Unsettling bedtime rituals are a must.
Poor foolish Dee. She makes the mistake of shacking up with Charlie and Frank in the season four episode “Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life” and is never the same because of it. It’s in this episode where we learn just how truly horrifying Frank and Charlie’s living conditions are with open cans of pee littered throughout the apartment and thousands of rats hidden within the slum’s walls. It’s best to just eat some cat food, huff some glue, and forget about the squalor you’re living in.
The building is possibly haunted.
We can’t be for certain that Frank and Charlie’s building is haunted, but its hallways are occupied by junkies and creepy little twins who attempt to lure Dee into some sort of nightmare play date. As disgusting as it might be inside Charlie’s apartment unit, the building’s hallways are far more terrifying come nightfall.
Privacy involves going into a couch crevice.
Being that Frank and Charlie share a single room occupancy unit, privacy is pretty much nonexistent. Sure, there’s a boarded up mystery room, but there’s no telling what sort of disgusting horrors lurk in there, or if Frank and Charlie are even aware of its existence. The only privacy to be found involves crawling into the crevice of the couch’s foldout bed. It’s not much privacy, and, as Frank reveals in “A Very Sunny Christmas,” it’s actually Charlie’s go-to spot for “pounding off.”
Living there is damaging to your health.
Never mind the open containers of cat urine and lack of heating, the place is crawling with bed bugs. Granted, the apartment was likely crawling with bedbugs already, but it’s Dee who pays the price when she passes out on the bed and wakes up covered in bed bites because of Mac’s dog, Poppins. The entire building is later bug bombed and consumed by toxic gas to kill the bed bugs that Poppins brought in. So, unless you’re looking for a place that’s either crawling with blood-sucking bed bugs or a virtual gas chamber, it’s best to take your apartment search elsewhere.
Bed poop, ’nuff said.
Rats, bed bugs, and the absence of a kitchen; those are all more than legitimate reasons why one should never consider bunking with Frank and Charlie, but they’re not even the worst issues. The most glaring incident that lingers over Charlie’s apartment is the semi-regular bed pooping. Pooping in a bed isn’t a crime, but it possibly should be and Frank is guilty of laying overnight bed turds on multiple occasions. The whole thing is downright deplorable and speaks volumes about Frank as a monster of a roommate, though it’s hard to declare either of them as a “winner” when trying to decide who is worse.